Bunchalows

My LOVES...

2012-02-14T10:59:00.001-08:00

VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

I have always loved this holiday...even as a kid, making those cheesy valentines boxes out of aluminum foil, paper doilies, and construction paper... The little valentine cards we'd address to the kids in our class and stuffing them with candy conversation hearts... of course being very careful not to give the boys any that said "I love you" *gasp*... My how things have changed! In celebration of this day, I'm going to share with you just some of the things I love most in this world...

Pic of Case that I LOVE...so handsome!!

Pic of Jenn that I LOVE... my beautiful girl!!

Pic of Doug that I LOVE...probably the happiest I've ever seen him.

Odd obsession that I LOVE...Comforters...some girls like shoes...I like bedroom sets and this one looks just like mine!

Man (that is not my hubby) that I LOVE...Homie...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Homie...

Product that I LOVE...it seriously works...if you don't use it now, go get it! It's incredible and I seriously was about 2 days away from buying a new dishwasher until a girlfriend told me about this stuff...changed my life!

Drink that I LOVE...could drink it all day long...

Band/Music that I LOVE...I Love the Cure...best concert ever...Robert Smith's voice is like instant happiness to me.

Lotion that I LOVE...Victoria's Secret...smells de-lish and makes me feel pretty...vicky's got game!

Cleaning product that I LOVE...lemon-lime lysol wipes...I buy it like I buy toilet paper...the more the better!

Snack that I LOVE...Boston Cream Pie flavored yogurt?? Don't say YUCK...go out and buy some. It's heavenly!!

MOST importantly...the family that I LOVE... (this includes my sweet in-laws...just didn't have our family pic in the computer!) I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my family...nobody else in the world like any of em...I'm a lucky girl!

Happy Valentines Day!

Spit Happens...

2012-02-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

This was Jenn last night at dinner, across the table...onto me. We'd been having a silly conversation and couldn't stop laughing. We were just finishing up, she was chugging down the last of her coke and I said "okay, let's get going..." and I must have turned in such a way that startled her, because suddenly I was the recipient of coke spray. Full on. I've never seen it really happen! You see it in the movies all the time...

The people sitting next to us were aghast... you could hear a pin drop in the room... until you could hear our hysterical laughing. We both cried with laughter! Jenn barely made it to the bathroom. She thought I was mad at first because I couldn't say anything through the short bursts of oxygen in between laughs. What a fun night we'll never forget! Well worth a few disgusted stares and a little residual stickiness... Love you bug!

Walk Off The Earth

2012-02-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

Pretty cool...I actually like this better than Gotye's version on my playlist! The woman's voice is incredible and it's pretty cool how they're all playing the same guitar...the guy on the right end cracks me up...he looks like a lumber jack. :) Enjoy!

De-junk

2012-02-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

After much thought and a lot of crazy "accidents", we've finally decided that it's time to de-junk Bogester... It was actually a tough decision. He's nearly 3 years old and as Labradors go, he's pretty sweet... we always thought we'd breed him because he's such a beautiful dog! He's pure bread, AKC papered...the works. I would have loved to see little bogey's running around! He's our little buddy...he's so sweet and friendly. But, the problem with his age is that apparently his testosterone levels are pretty high...we have female dogs all around us. Our neighbor three doors down has two beautiful female shepherds and I guess Bogey knows it just going out the front door. His hormones are going nuts (excuse the pun) and it's driving us all crazy! He wants to be in the back yard every 5 minutes (he can smell those girl dogs three houses away!) He goes into the front yard and our quiet little street turns into a barking frenzy. The dogs down the street, the ones across the street...it's kinda ridiculous. Bogey is uber territorial. We can't even let my brother bring his dog through the house to go out the back door. If bogey even catches a whiff of another male dog, he pees. He's been so good for three years! Aside from the little puppy accident's, we didn't have to worry about him...until now. It started with the Christmas tree and went from there. I can't imagine what his dog brain is thinking... "this is mine, this is mine, this is mine, this is mine...oh you don't think this is mine? Here let me pee on it, it will be!" We finally resorted to shutting him in our bedroom when we left (can't put him out back because he barks...) and he did great for a little bit, but then one night we came home to a puddle on the carpet AFTER we'd just had the carpets cleaned. I wanted to cry. Now a neutering, a spendy shock collar (for the barking) and who knows what else later...we hope this does the trick. Sheesh. So now this Saturday he'll be on the proverbial chopping block to see if we can lower his testosterone levels and get him to mellow out on the "mine!, mine!, mine!" garbage. Poor buddy...Sorry to take your manhood away, but this pee thing...ugh! Here's to man's best friend! Love ya bogester!

Downton Abbey

2012-01-31T14:29:00.000-08:00

I found a new favorite that has me spell bound and pining for Sunday! I think I must have British aristocracy in my blood somewhere...I so wish that I lived back then, even without all it's modern conveniences. I'm curious about why I'm so drawn to this style of life. I wouldn't mind being a Lady or even a Lady's maid! I'm drawn to England. I love the culture, the weather, the architecture... I'd love to actually go see it someday. Don't get me wrong, I love my country...I just think my heart lives in a tiny English cottage somewhere out on a moor. If ya have a little extra time, I'd definitely recommend it! (you can catch up with the first season on line!) The characters are written so fantastically! My favorites are Anna and Mr. Bates...of course, but they're all so good...even the villains who you'll love to hate! Obrien, Thomas and Mrs. Bates make malificent look like Mother Theresa!!!

2012-01-17T14:44:00.001-08:00

While I don't subscribe to this particular philosophy on raising my kiddo's, (For obvious reasons...though I probably would if I had 3 little ones, or even just 2 here all the time! I have to Carpe Diem!) I thought this post was great and I know that many of my friends probably feel exactly like this lovely lady, so I had to share...it's a bit lengthy, but worth the read. Enjoy!

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

Christmas Musings

2011-12-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

(Warning...LONG post...sorry! That's what happens when I don't blog for weeks! Read on!!) The Christmas countdown is on...really on. single digits in fact. This has admittedly been an off month so far here in the Low home. Not necessarily a bad month...just off. It started with the prospect of a possible cancer diagnosis for my little sister, my mom leaving for a long stay in Florida to help take care of her, Doug getting sicker than he's probably ever been in his life and our 4 legged buddy either hating our Christmas tree, the cat, the tree skirt, the presents under the tree...or maybe all of the above. Don't get me wrong, the months had its highlights too...spending time with family and friends, seeing the lights in Ogden...just to name a few. I'm not a huge fan of Ogden for a few reasons, but their little Christmas display is quite enchanting...despite it's odd proximity to the Weber County jail?? It felt weird to just be able to walk right up to it, knowing the joy and merriment going on our side of the wall, and the probable sadness and heartbreak going on the other side. Just weird. BUT...the month is winding up on a high note though... First thing first...my sweet sis does not have cancer. A hearty "hallelujah!" to that! Her doctor told her that she was a miracle. He was certain that her test would reveal lymphoma...but it miraculously didn't. Not that they know what it is...only that it won't take her life. Thank Heavens!! Mom, Kellye, Jordan and their sweet boys are all back in Utah safe and sound. I haven't seen my sis and her family in a year and a half... I was there to meet them at the airport at 1:00am last Wednesday night. I could see them gathering into the elevator to greet us at the bottom. My heart was in my throat... I didn't know what to expect...would the boys be shy and not remember me? Would I cry like a baby when I saw my sister knowing the huge bullet she'd just dodged? The elevator doors opened and their oldest son Tate came running full speed into my arms. (so much for not remembering me! sweet!) It was a joyful reunion, complete with meeting my adorable 6 month old nephew Cole, but they were completely exhausted from a full day's travel so we kept the reunion brief, so that babies could be taken home and put to bed and tired parents could do the same. We're so glad they are here though and look forward to a funtastic Christmas with them! Doug is finally on the mend after two cat scans, an EGD, a midnight trip to the ER and several other doctor visits. Doug doesn't get sick, so this was particularly trying for our little family. He doesn't take medicine; he doesn't go to the doctor...none of it. He is on the mend and taking his medicine like a champ. (even though I know he secretly HATES it and would rather smash his finger with a sledge hammer than take a pill everyday...good job baby!) I still haven't figured out the whole Bogey, tree, cat, present thing yet... Last year we bought this hugely magnificent live tree, brought it home and set it up...it didn't take long for bogey to promptly relive himself on it...much to my "new carpet" chagrin. I figured it was because it was a live tree...the smell of it and all; plus possibly having been in contact with other animals...who knows if it came from a Christmas tree farm or somewhere in the mountains?? A mountain lion could have brushed up against it for all I knew. (not probable...but hey...) All I knew was that bogey felt the need to mark it. After a good scolding, Bogey didn't pee on it again until my brother's dog podo came for a visit...then they were both peeing on it...different story for a different day. Let's just say the "pee-party" came to a swift end. This year we decided to go with our fake tree, which is just as grand and beautiful, if not more so, than any live tree...but you know, there's just something about a "real" tree sometimes. Anyway, I'd hoped we'd avoid any bogey accident's with the "fake" tree... so, the other day I ducked under it to plug the lights in, and got the faint scent of dog urine. NO WAY! I inspected the area around the tree and found nothing wet or discolored, which meant unfortunately, that I needed to put my nose into it and start sniffing around. (I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog...) I finally found a small spot smack dab in front of the tree...probably at least a day old, which grosses me out like you can't believe. I scolded the dog, which is ridiculous. He was probably thinking I was a crazy person, which I am...but my crazy is none of his business! ;) Fast forward two days later and I'm once again reaching under the tree, very awkwardly I might add...(we need to get one of those lights come on by touch thingy's) when I saw what looked like dribble on one of the presents. I wrapped all our gifts in brown craft (butcher) paper this year and tied them with really pretty, fat and festive ribbon, so the "dribble" was especially easy to spot on the plain paper. I picked up the gift and sure enough...this time Bogey was sitting right there next to me like "what?". I unwrapped the gift, and inspected the box. No sign of pee on the box (thank you extra thick and durable brown craft paper!) but the gross out factor was too much for this obsessive compulsive clean freak...so the box had to go too. Doug heard my moaning (cursing), whining (screeching), episode (tantrum) from the other room and placed blame squarely on "Boss", my mom's cat. Sure it was Bogey who'd peed on the present, but Boss made him do it. There's a whole "marking, alpha, territory" explanation that's too long and too boring to go into that makes this claim legit, but as I said, too long... I pulled all the other gifts out from beneath the tree, inspected them closely for dog urine, took the tree skirt out, put it in the wash and began scrubbing the carpet beneath the tree for good measure. Did I mention that our carpet is new? Whaaaaa!!! Hopefully that does the trick and we can have pee free Christmas gifts, carpet, etc... Last but not least, our kids will be here for Christmas! No explanation needed here. It will be as wonderful as it sounds and if that doesn't sound like heaven on earth to you like it is to us...you're missing out. A very Merry Christmas it will be... One last thing...since it hasn't felt too much like Christmas around here, what with all the sickness, cancer scares, and dog urine...Doug and I hunkered down last night to watch "Passion of the Christ". We each gave an idea for something we could that would invite the true spirit of Christmas into our hearts and home and this movie was it. We'd seen it once before about three years ago and I'd remembered it being pretty hard to watch. It has an "R" rating because the torture inflicted upon the Savior is sooooooo graphic, it couldn't have possibly received any other rating. However graphic it is, it's a beautiful story of the Savior's crucifixion. His death, though a crucial and supremely significant part of His life, is not something we dwell on a lot in our home. We choose rather to reflect more on His life, Atonement and resurrection. But... we know very intimately that the Savior died for US...all of us. This film captures (I think probably pretty accurately) what He must have gone through in those last hours of life. He was hated and despised of men... Needless to say watching something like this, even when you know it's a movie and it's an actor portraying the Savior, is still very difficult to watch. Doug and I cried through most of it. We cried because we love Him. We know that the events portrayed are NOT fictional. It's not just a movie. It happened and it matters. The Lord really did suffer unimaginable things for us and eventually gave His life for us. We love Him and are grateful for Him, not only for His birth, celebrated at this wonderful time of year but also for his Atoning sacrifice, His unmatched and perfect life, His love for us, His example and ultimately His death and resurrection. He lives and loves us still... And what a wonderful thing to know and believe!

Here's a bit part of the movie that was especially moving to us... Jesus is carrying His cross through the streets after being severely whipped and beaten...He is struggling mightily to carry this huge piece of wood, He's exhausted, in pain and bleeding badly. His mother Mary is following Him, trying to stay close...for a moment she seems to be frozen by fear...not knowing what to do or where to go, when she suddenly remembers Him as a small boy, tripping and falling. She simultaneously runs to Him in her memory and in life, letting Him know that she "is there"...what that must have meant to Him. Even God's Only Begotten...receiving the comfort of His mother. So touching as a mother myself...knowing that feeling of running to your child who's fallen, who sick or in pain. It's heart wrenching and beautiful. Enjoy...

Merry Christmas to ALL!!!

Wii Love You!

2011-11-19T11:59:00.001-08:00

Last week while cleaning up the family room, I pulled the video game basket down off the entertainment center to put a few things away. There sat a grave yard of Wii games and controllers. I looked over to the side of the tv and saw the Wii just sitting there, sort of pushed back into the corner and covered with dust. **sigh** We'd recently upgraded to an xbox kinect a few weeks before and the Wii had become a sad little second fiddle... I remember it's glory days... We couldn't believe how COOL it was! Forget playstation and xbox...the Wii was motion activated! It'd been successful in accomplishing what Nintendo might have been shooting for in creating it...hours of family fun. The 4 of us absolutely loved our Wii! I remember two Christmas's ago, the family Christmas present was Super Mario Bros. Wii edition...Heck Yes! I think we spent the bulk of Christmas vacation playing it. The four of us squeezed onto one couch, laughing hysterically, hollering "bubble, bubble, BUBBLE!!!".

My attention quickly snaps back to the video game basket. We hadn't turned the Wii on in weeeeeeeks. I couldn't imagine that we would...at least not until the xbox became old hat. Don't get me wrong, the xbox has been great fun, but now what do we do with all this Wii stuff? It looks like such a waste...a cumulative $1000.00 waste. It made my stomach turn a bit. A few days later, I was helping Casey put his snowboard on KSL to sell and the idea came to me... "why don't we sell the Wii?" Maybe, just maybe...some other little family will have as much fun with it as we have?" I gathered all the equipment together, the Wii fit, Guitar Hero, all the games and controllers...plopped em down on my table and took a few pics. Less than 24 hours later, it was sold. A little mom with kids age, 16 to 2 was purchasing it for her family for Christmas. She was coming to pick it up Saturday. I began boxing it all up, making sure everything was bright, shiny and good to go. A twinge of sadness tugged at me as I handed it over...such fun we've had! BRAVO Nintendo! What great memories we have from playing with a silly game system. Not just the 4 of us either...Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins...lot's of high fives, lots of laughter, lots of frustration from not being able to pass a stinkin board...lots of FUN! Glad you're going to a good home where another family can keep enjoying you...I can see their Christmas morning now... Wii-rrific!

Best Christmas Commercial EVER!

2011-11-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

If you're a parent, this will probably make you cry...it did me. Best Christmas commercial EVER! (and not a bad song to go with it...who would've thought they'd use a Smith's song in a Christmas commercial?)

Family Pics

2011-11-07T15:50:00.001-08:00

Finally got it to work! Here's just a few of our favorites! Thanks again Patience...you're the best!

(double click for a bigger view...especially on the kids...so stinkin cute!)

Yep Bogey is actually in the picture...black dog + black shirt = what dog? My bad.

The adventures of being married to a twin...

2011-11-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

So most of you know that Doug is a twin. Some people do not know this...and boy has that been FUN! He and his brother Greg are identical twins...I don't think they could be more identical. Usually as twins get older, they start to look different from one another, they gain more of an independent personality, etc... Not Doug and Greg. They still look EXACTLY alike. They act alike, they talk alike...they are twins in every sense of the word. They even have that creepy twin talk thing going on. We played pictionary one night and all Greg had to do was draw a single line...one single line and Doug got it. Freaky or cheaters? Hmmmm? So from time to time, Doug and I will be walking somewhere and an absolute stranger will walk up, greet us warmly and begin talking to us like we know them. It still weirds me out, but Doug's used to it and after a second, he'll interrupt the person and tell them that they're probably looking for Greg. The same thing happens to Greg... and to give you perspective on just how identical they are, even my own mom can't tell who is who. Obviously when Doug and Greg are together in a room, people who know them can tell who is who, but get them apart and out in public? Good luck. One afternoon my mom was shopping, when she saw Doug a few rows away checking out...she stood there and waited for him to be done so that they could walk out together. Doug pays for his stuff and begins walking toward the door (and my mom) and proceeds to walk right past her. She's standing there going, "Doug...Doug...DOUG!" She's thinking, "Why is he ignoring me?!" It's not until a few seconds later when she sees Greg's wife Kim, that she realizes... woops...it's not Doug! So, here's MY favorite who's who story... Doug wears a uniform to work and Greg, who works for the sheriffs department, also wears one. One day, Doug and I are at the meat counter in Albertson's (of all places!) when a girl walks out from the back room, takes one look at Doug and goes white as a sheet. She says "hi, are you here to check up on me?" We thought she was just trying to be funny/friendly. She's making small talk and we chit chat along, trying to be friendly. She's not setting off any weirdo alarms but there's definitely an un-easiness about her. She tells us goodbye and adds, "I guess I'm just not used to seeing you without your uniform". I'm thinking Okaaaaaaay? Doug and I both chalk it up to the fact that he wasn't in his uniform. We finish our shopping and stop at the Redbox on our way out. As we're perusing the selections, the meat counter girl rushes up to us with a very worried look on her face. "Am I in trouble? Are you checking up on me?" Finally, the light bulb goes on... Doug says, "I think you think I'm my twin brother". Her expressions softens just a little and she asks, "You don't work at the jail?" Doug tells her no, and a look of absolute relief washes over her. Turns out, she's an inmate at Davis County jail on work release. She thought Greg, who works in the jail, was there to check up on her. I've since wondered how many times someone from the jail has seen Doug and has thought he was Greg. Kinda scary to think about some guy with a Davis County jail grudge running into us on the street. "Um, please don't beat the crap out of my husband, it's his twin you're looking for..." Yikes! I wonder what people who know us, but don't know that Doug's a twin, think when they see him out and about with Kim! "That Doug Low's carrying on with another lady!" Ha-ha!! I actually can't imagine anyone thinking badly of either one...both men are wonderful, respectful, genuine, honest, hard working human beings. Their reputation precedes them...but man it's funny when people can't tell them apart. At times, even our kids, our dogs and the stinking xbox kinect can't tell them apart!!! Yay for twins!

Brian (my papa in-law) and Greg (double click for larger view)

Dougy Fresh

Catch Up

2011-11-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have so much blogging to catch up on! Here we are in November and if you're listening to my playlist, you'll either happily notice or be extremely irritated by the fact that I've included some of my favorite Christmas songs... I still have a few to add, because I do love the oldies...but Sarah Mclachlan's "Wintersong" is definitely a favorite, so I started with her! Anyway, here's what's been happening at our house...we had our family pics taken a few weeks ago, but for some reason I can't post them. I've tried 5 different times! I've got a few other avenues to try, so I won't give up...but they turned out great! Patience did a fantastic job and we had a lot of fun having them taken! Halloween came and went with a lot of fun and festivity. We got to dress Jennah up as LSP, which turned out good, but not great... The make up we got to paint Jenn's face purple, was...um... let's just say, it didn't work. It said "face and body paint" right on the stinkin bottle! Duh!! It turned Jenn's face this crazy purple-ish red and I was so scared that it would stain her face for days, so as soon as we got it applied, we were washing it off! She did look cute as heck, though and received lots of compliments! Most people don't know who LSP is, and a lot of them assumed she was Violet Beauregarde from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", post her ingestion of the 3 course meal bubble gum. Trunk-or-treat was lots of fun and so was our visit to Gardner Village. Casey had to work on Halloween, so he was just pretty much there whenever he could be. He's at that age anyway...kind of in between trick-or-treating, hanging out with friends, haunted houses, etc... Rach did actually get him to go to a haunted house this year, which was a miracle! Don't tell him I said so, but Case has an adorable fraidy catness about him! He spooks really easy, which is sometimes pretty comical! Sorry Case! Ya know I love ya! (If ya really want to spook case, get him to watch a movie about alien invasions...if ya want to spook Jenn, sneak up on her and yell "BOO"...muahahaha!) Halloween night was pretty mellow here...I'd just gotten an ear infection the night before, (who get's those when they're 38 years old?!) so I was kinda feeling like a bag of trash, but it was fun to hand out candy to all the little ghosts and goblins! Doug and I uncharacteristically (because of my bag-o-trashness ear infection) turned off the lights at 8:00 and called it a night. I took all of my Halloween down yesterday and am really looking forward to Thanksgiving. We wont have the kiddo's this year, but we'll make the most of it enjoying families and friends and look forward to having them for Christmas this year! Oh by the way, we had a fun Halloween party as well! Doug's chili dogs, caramel corn, scotchies, murder in the dark and other fun games and one of Tom's spooky homemade movies to top it off. My favorite part was playing a "spooky" game of hide and seek. We told the kids that they could hide anywhere in the house, except our bedroom. (santa's already hiding some of Christmas in there...) We nominated Tom as the designated "finder" and sent the kids off to hide. The hitch (that the kids knew nothing about) was that after they all went to hide, we turned off every light in the house so it was pitch black. They were told that they couldn't move from their original hiding places and the best part was that while they were expecting "Tom" to come find them...he'd sneakily donned a super spooky (and I mean spooky) get up and went room to room with a dim flashlight in search of each kid. I sat in the "graveyard" (the living room) waiting for each person to be found. For about ten minutes, all you could hear coming from different parts of our house were the delightful shrieks of kids being found by Tom's ghastly figure. I wouldn't even say shrieks...some were more like blood curdling screams! I can only imagine what they thought when they expected to see Tom but came face to face with a slasher! Delightful! It was a great time and I've already got new ideas for next year! Hope you all had a great Halloween too!

Live and Learn

2011-10-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

So, about a month and a half ago, I read a scripture:
'And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.'
~ Moroni 7:45

I had decided that I needed and wanted to study more about that scripture as it pertains to my life and how I want my life to be.

I recently watched the newest Narnia movie..."The Voyage of the Dawn Treader". As most people probably know, the lion "Aslan", in these movies is a representation of Jesus Christ. As I watched this movie, one of the characters, Eustace, was somehow changed into a dragon, and later in the movie, Aslan changes him back to a boy.
This conversation at the end of the movie caught my attention and I wanted to share it because it hit home to me.

Edmund: So what was it like when Aslan changed you back?
Eustace: No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it myself. then he came towards me. It sort of hurt, but it was a good pain... like when you pull a thorn from your foot.

As soon as I heard that conversation in the movie, I immediately thought of my situation and thought about the posting I did last month called "New Beginnings". As I heard that conversation in the movie, I thought about my journeyings in the past several years... and the pain that I have felt and tried to endure. It reminded me of all the times I have learned about how the pain we endure through our trials and hardships are Heavenly Father's way of molding us (or changing us) into what He needs us to become. Of course, in the moment, the pain is not easy... it hurts, but once you feel like you are pulling through it, you realize how strong you have become and the pain becomes a blessing. The part where Eustace says that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't change himself back reminded me of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. There are countless things in this world that we cannot do unless we have the help of the Savior. There are so many things we cannot do for ourselves, but can do them with the help of Jesus Christ. Changing into what we are meant to become is one of those things. But there IS pain involved.

I was recently reading about a condition called "CIPA", or congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis. It is a disorder where you cannot feel pain. You can feel the sense of touch, but cannot feel pain. At first when I heard about this, it sounded like a dream come true... not feeling pain, but its not a dream come true. The life span for someone with this disorder is young because they do not learn from the pain that they might feel in their life. If they touch a hot plate, they don't feel the pain, but their body still gets burned. But because they didn't feel the excruciating pain, they might touch it again. They end up damaging their bodies because their bodies don't give them the response that the need in order to stop doing something harmful. Think about how well this disorder relates to emotional and spiritual pain as well. The pain we experience in our lives is what helps us to become stronger and helps us to grow. Pain hurts, but imagine if we didn't progress in our lives because we didn't feel the pain from those things that stretch us, that build us, and that help us to grow and become strong. Imagine the lack of strength we would receive if we never experienced pain in our lives. We would be weak physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

Anyhow, back to the movie... a few minutes later in the movie, Prince Caspian says something else that really struck me and made me reflect on my life all over again...

Prince Caspian: I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given.

This line hit home to me because I have spent years doing just that... wanting what was taken from me and not what was given. If only you all knew exactly what this means for me!!
I saw this movie after I had been studying out that scripture in my mind. This line went perfectly with what I had been thinking about for a couple of weeks and it had to do with the line in that scripture that says:

'seeketh not her own'

This line of that scripture has caused me to really take a good look at myself and I didn't like what I saw when it came to that part of the scripture. 'seeketh not her own'... I realized while reading that scripture that I had been trying desperately to 'seek my own' will, and I had not been 'seeking' and accepting the will of Heavenly Father.

I didn't realize it before, but I now realize that in the past several years, I have been fighting against my reality. I know that Jennah does not live here, but because I have hated that reality so much, I have been fighting against LIVING that reality. I hate the reality of being a mother living without my child... I have spent years wanting that back, wanting what was taken from me. I have tried my hardest to put my life on hold... and live in limbo... while I waited for my life to become the reality that I actually want it to be. I have been appearing to live, but in reality, I have been going through the motions of life as I waited and waited for that day to come...to tuck her in every night, help her with her homework, help her do her hair, talk to her about the stinky boys at school...just watch her walk through the front door with a back pack slung over one shoulder...and finally begin living again... living the reality that I want most.

So, yes, I have been spending my time wanting what was taken from me instead of what has been given to me.

But its time to stop. I know it is time to stop fighting my reality and accept that this IS my reality. Of course this is easier said than done, but if I am going to learn what I am meant to learn, I have to do my best. I am sure I could have learned so much more of what I need to learn by now if I had not been fighting against the Lord's will. When I think about what I have been given, I feel so ungrateful because of the time I know I have wasted as I fought against what the Lord has tried to teach me and what He has given to me through this trial.

Its kind of strange to even talk about fighting against the Lord's will. Its not like I have thought that I could change the facts of my life, but when I say fighting... I guess it means that I am rebelling against my own reality, not wanting to face that it is real. All I have been really doing is 'seeking my own' will instead of submitting to the will of my Father in Heaven. Obviously, THIS is His will. So, what do I do with THIS reality? That is what I should be asking myself.

I don't know how long it is going to take me to learn that the will of Heavenly Father will bring me so much more JOY and happiness in the long run than trying to force my own will. He sees the big picture, I don't. He knows truly who I am and what will be the best path for me, I don't.
I know that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me, and I know that I need to put more trust in Him.

Business Time...

2011-10-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

I'm on the youtube kick again...(Yay!)
One of my favorite shows...(Flight of the Conchords...)
Laugh out loud funny... (More like hysterical!)

Ladies and Gents...it's Business Time...

Lumpy Space Princess

2011-10-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

Since I just announced that Jenn was going to be "LSP" for Halloween, I've had a lot of people ask me who in the heck "Lumpy Space Princess" is...(you mean you don't watch Adventure Time?...whatever!) Thought I'd share a snippit with you...We love "LSP" and Jenn is going to be perfect! Watch for pics!

Last of Summer fun...

2011-10-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share some random pics of the last of our summer fun...can't believe its over, but very much loving the Fall season and looking forward to the holiday's! This is my time of year! I love the feeling, the festivities, the decorations...all of it! Jennah's birthday weekend was lovely, complete with presents, cake, cupcakes, (that Jenn made all by her little self...) lunch at her favorite restaurant with the whole family and a wonderful conference weekend to top it all off. Looking forward to so much this month...next weekend we have family pics and our annual family night at the Black Island Farms corn maze...spooky fun with huge hay slides, pumpkins, pig racing, popcorn, a haunted corn maze and lots and lots of other great Halloween stuff! Check it out on-line...it beats out any other corn maze from Logan to Provo...hands down! The following week is UEA, which means a 4 day weekend with our kids and another annual Halloween tradition for Jenn and I at the Witch's Festival in Gardner Village..another one to check out if you haven't already...there's a witches hay ride, face painting, a petting zoo and pony rides, a candy store to die in...with the best caramel apples and fudge you've ever tasted... plus lots of fun shops to browse in or buy from! Top that weekend off with our always fantastic ward trunk-or-treat and chili/soup cook off (Doug took first place in soup last year and 2nd place in chili!!! Saaweet!) This year, Jennah's going to dress up as "Lumpy Space Princess", better known as "LSP" from our favorite cartoon, "Adventure Time"...(which reminds me, gotta get crackin on that costume!) Case is going to try and win first prize for the best trunk decorating...think fog machine and a HUGE spider... Finally the last week of October will be the Low's first Halloween party! Lots of games, treats, fun and spookiness!! Can't wait! What a FUN month we have ahead of us!! Now onto the pics... (double click to get a better/bigger look!)

Jennah's Birthday!

Jennah's best friends, Cassidy and Halle decorated her room for a surprise!

Cassidy and Halle showing Jenn some big heart LOVE!

Date night at Lagoon!

Doug, Pat, Tiff and I all went to Lagoon for date night...tons-o-fun and I even rode the rides! (haven't ridden them in 2 years!) We snapped these "deathly" frightmare pics of our guys...Doug's pic is eerily spot on...ha-ha!

Jenn and Case hanging out in the hammock...ahhh, Summer...

Last night in Kamas...
It was our first really chilly night in Kamas, so we all bundled up in our sleeping bags in the tent...about 10 minutes after we were all cozy warm and just before everyone was about to drift off to sleep, Doug thought it would be funny to sit up and start snapping pics...it turned out to be hysterical and we all got a pretty good kick out of it! :)

Jenn's not crying...contrary to the look on her face...I think it was more of a "what the?!" look!

Party Time!

Patty pat posing for the camera...

Tommyboy looking for a burrito and a pack mule...

Shae (cool name huh? She just doesn't know how to spell it right...;) obviously not wanting her pic taken ;)

Caser's giving me 20!

Rachie, laid back, cool as can be...

And...Tiffy, pretty as a picture... ;)

See ya'll next Summer!

The Power of Words...

2011-10-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

I saw this a few months ago and really liked it...

Two of the words that I really liked?..."Mercy" and "Faith" ...not so much the words themselves, but more the definition of the words...

Beautiful words that filled me with happiness...Enjoy.

Rain, Rain Go Away...

2011-09-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

We've had some difficult events happen here in our neighborhood and ward recently... the kind of stuff that makes you lose your breath when you hear about it. The sweetest 7 month old baby girl diagnosed with cancer...her family's life changed in an instant, a young, marathon running and all around awesome momma suddenly confined to a wheel chair because of unexplained seizures and passing out unexpectedly. A happy new mom stricken down with debilitating headaches and complicated spinal taps, another young and vibrant mother having brain surgery to remove a tumor, another sweet mommy having heart surgery to repair a hole in her heart, and still another beautiful young mom, having surgery to stop progressive damage to a failing liver. We recently lost the sweetest little elderly man, who leaves behind his sweet little wife... All of this within a 3 month period...and it comes in a year that another sweet family lost their baby girl and yet another wonderful family lost their husband and father.

What is happening here? The rain clouds it seems, have descended on our little neck of the woods...

I went into counsel meeting last week and left bawling my eyes out.

It makes the things I worry about on a day to day basis seem kind of ridiculous... Have you ever heard of the analogy that if we could all throw our problems into a big pile, once we saw what others were going through, we'd immediately fish our own back out? The Lord knows what we can handle and what we need.

Some days I stare into the usually empty room across the hall from mine and I can't breath. Sometimes I want to collapse and let the grief cave in on me. But only sometimes... because I realize how lucky I am to have her in my life, even if it's only for three days every other weekend and one day every other week for a few hours. I count my life with her in hours...At least she is here and she is healthy...and seeing how fast the lives of people we love are changing around here, I can only pray that she stays this way. I included my favorite part of the Joseph Smith movie with my post...I remember seeing it the first time with Doug and Jennah...I remember being so comforted at the part where Joseph said to his father that Alvin, his son who'd passed away, would always be his son and he would always be his father. I held Jennah's hand tight...I will always be her mother and she will always be my daughter. I also remember looking over at Doug that day in the dark theater...tears were streaming down his face. Casey wasn't with us that day because of some problems we'd been having with him and we'd been praying for answers. Doug, who'd been hurting by the way things were going with Casey, was also moved by this part of the movie and it was only a short time later that our prayers were answered and all our lives were changed forever. This is only part of why we believe what we do and why we do what we do. I have NO doubt that the events portrayed in this film happened. I'm regretful that my faith started out of despair. I wish I could say I was always this way, but I'll never regret that we did find Him...no matter what it took to get us here. When talking with our friends and neighbors recently about the events of the last few months, one of them said, "it's happening because we are strong, because we need the Lord, because we love each other and because we are so blessed here." I have no doubt that she is right. We love these families and know that they are being blessed...just as we've been blessed so many times...both individually and as a family. Our hearts and prayers are with you all.

A Whole Year Ago...

2011-09-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

Love this picture. Love these men. The Lord has great things in store for them...and for us all. Life is good.

I love...

2011-09-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

I love reading Nie Nie...

When I read her blog, it inspires me to write good things. My BFF Tiff keeps a journal...something I did for awhile a few years ago...but this blog has sort of become a replacement of sorts. Weird...because people usually write things in their journal that they wouldn't share with anyone else. I guess I still have some of that in me...but for the most part, it's all here...

Back to the good things...

I love Jennah
I love Casey
I love Doug
I love Bogey
I love my Mom and Dad and my sister and brothers
I love my sis-in-law Bethany and my Bro-in-law Jordan
I love my nieces and nephews
I love my grandparents
I love my in-laws and my bro and sis in-laws, Mike, Michele, Greg and Kim
I love Christmas
I love Halloween
I love Thanksgiving
I love swimming
I love babies
I love my bestie, Tiffany
I love my home
I love music
I love the gospel
I love my Bishop
I love foot, back, neck...whatever...rubs
I love lipstick
I love the perfume "Happy" by Clinique
I love waterslides
I love water
I love the Spaghetti Factory
I love New England
I love Jane Austen (and I have since the 6th grade which was almost 30 years ago, so ya just gotta know I'm not a band wagon fan who started liking her when Pride and Prejudice came out on the big screen only 5 or so years ago...I'm die hard.)
I love to go to the temple
I love Friday's
I love to clean
I love caramel popcorn
I love James and the Giant Peach
I love the sun in the summer
I love the snow in winter
I love the rain, whenever
I love falling leaves
I love my husbands "man cookies" (no that's not something perverted...they're actually cookies)
I love Christmas lights
I love Christmas trees
I love scary movies
I love getting my hair done
I love clean sheets
I love being so tired that I can't keep my eyes open
I love my friends
I love snuggling with my daughter
I love the way my husband smells
I love writing
I love my boy's sweet affection (he's a 16 year old who likes to sit on my lap)
I love my Heavenly Father and Savior
I love so many things...I'm grateful that there is more to love in life than there is to hate.

So, one of the things that I wanted to write about (journal style) so that I can remember it years from now, is something that happened a few nights ago... Our bedtime routine usually consists of family prayer in our bedroom around our bed and even though prayer is certainly considered a sacred event...we've had a few good laughs during prayer time over the years...someone will mess up what they're saying and it sounds funny, the dog will fart, someone will just burst out laughing for no reason at all...you name it...

So the other night Case had gone off to bed before us and was fast asleep, so Doug and I decided to have prayer in his room, kneeling at his bed...Doug's thought was that even though Case was asleep, he'd still hear it...so we knelt down and it was my turn to pray...I got about three sentences into it and Doug suddenly bursts out "Name of Jesus Christ, Amen"...and begins laughing his head off. Um...wasn't I supposed to say that, when I've FINISHED the prayer? He promptly gets up and walks out into the hall, tears of laughter streaming down his face... I was like "what is so funny?" Apparently Case being the athletic teenage boy that he is, made for some unsavory smelling sheets, which happened to be more than Doug could take. We went to bed laughing and Case was none the wiser. I'm glad Heavenly Father still hears our prayers, even when they become a stand up (or rather kneeling) comedy routine... ;)

Looking forward to my baby girls birthday this week and to conference...have a great week everyone!

Homecoming Success!

2011-09-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

Case and Rach had a great time at the dance on Saturday...They looked great and so did all their friends! So grateful for these great kids and their fantastic friends...I love each one of them! These are the salad days...even though there are certainly tough days raising a teen, there are also golden moments that I will carry throughout my life. Glad you guys had such a great time! You deserve it! I love you!!!

Rachies Homecoming Bust!

2011-09-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Case knew he wanted to ask Rach to homecoming, but couldn't think of a good way to do it...

Knowing that my brother-in-law works for the Davis County sheriffs department gave me a wicked idea... ;)

"How about you tell her that I need to take you to a dentist appointment and ask her to meet us for lunch afterward with your car. (Rach doesn't have her license for another month!) We'll have one of Greg's cop friends pull her over..."

We called Greg and Rach's parents to make sure it was ok and the plan was set...a few days later, "Officer Erin" met us in front of Casey's school and Case climbed into the back seat of her cruiser with a bouquet of her favorite flowers. (that better be the one and only time you're in the back of a police car Casey!) I followed behind in my car, down Antelope Drive to where we'd agreed to meet Rach for lunch. I parked in a spot that was sort of covered in bushes while Casey and Officer Erin parked off the side of the road about half a mile away, laying in wait for her to drive by in his car. My stomach was in knots as Casey and I texted each other...both of us so nervous for her, but excited to see how happy she'd be! (Case had been telling her for weeks that he couldn't afford to take her, knowing all along that he would!)

So Casey spots his car, Erin flips on her lights and sirens and moves in behind Rach. I thought she'd pull her over at least a few yards away from my car, but as it worked out, Rach stopped right in front of me! I ducked as quick as I could, praying that she hadn't seen me. I knew she probably wasn't paying attention to anything else around her, but our car was right there and I was laughing so hard, the car was shaking. I peeked up over the dash and got to see the whole thing play out, which ended up being perfect! Rach totally kept her cool and only shed a tiny tear or two thinking that she was about to get a ticket for driving without a license, her boyfriends car was about to be impounded and her parents were going to be called... I'd have been bawling my eye's out! When Erin told Rach she'd have to come back to her car, I quickly jumped out and started taking as many pics as I could without being seen. Erin opened the back door and there sat Case with his flowers! Rach's expression was priceless. He asked her to the dance and gave her a huge hug! She was such a great sport and loved it! We went to lunch and laughed at Rachael's version of the whole thing...I can't believe she kept herself so cool! Her mascara didn't even run! She definitely has more "fight" than "flight"... It turned out to be a FUN morning and I was so happy to be a part of it! Thank you officer Erin, you were fantastic!!! Stay tuned for pics of the cute kiddo's all dressed up! :)

My tongue's a world traveler...is yours?

2011-09-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

So a few months ago, I was sitting at my desk and I started to feel this sort of gradual burning/tingling sensation on my tongue. I didn't pay it much attention for a bit, but about an hour later, it was really bothering me and I couldn't figure out what the heck I'd eaten or drank that would have burned it and why the sting was gradually getting worse. I went through the remainder of my day with this silly irritation and didn't even bother to look at it until I got into my car to go home. I flipped my visor mirror open and stuck my tongue out to discover what looked like a white perfectly round circle on the end of my tongue. What the heck is that?! I was kinda alarmed at first. It was a major gross out for starters and secondly, I couldn't imagine how I could have burnt the tip of my tongue and blistered it so badly. A few hours later, the burn dissipated and the "blister" was gone...outta sight, outta mind. A few days go by and I'd all but forgotten it, when suddenly I felt it again. This time, I knew for certain that I hadn't eaten anything hot enough to burn my mouth! I quickly went into the bathroom to inspect and sure enough...there it was again...an almost perfect white circle on the very tip of my tongue, only this one was larger than the first. Now I was really concerned. What the crap is happening with my mouth? Was it an allergy or far worse, was it some kind of parasite?? I couldn't even stomach the thought. It wasn't something so disconcerting that I felt I needed to rush to the doctor right away, so I decided to wait a few weeks and tell him on an upcoming lymph node follow up. Between then and the appointment, I had several more episodes where suddenly the tip of my tongue would burn with intensity and every time, the mysterious white circle, which was now beginning to resemble a bulls eye, was always right there with the burn. Fantastic. I mentioned it to a few friends and no one had ever seen anything like it. The day of my appointment finally came and after I got the all clear on my lymph nodes, I say to him kind of sheepishly..."Uh...I have another weird issue that I want to ask you about"...I explain my symptoms as he whips out his little light and tongue depressor. "Oh he says...I haven't seen this in awhile"...(great!) "You have geographic tongue." Huh? Apparently it's a benign condition where a person gets these flat circles on their tongue that cause burning and sometimes even pain. They don't know why, they don't have anything to treat it...it's just a "you have this and there's nothing you can do about it" kind of thing. I looked it up on the Internet later that afternoon and was even more grossed out, because honestly, if you google it, you will be uber grossed out and mine looks nothing like any of the pics on there...it's drastically less serious than any that I saw and thank heaven for that! I'm pretty fastidious about my oral hygiene. I floss and brush twice a day and use mouthwash, plax...the works... It has nothing to do with that, but I actually think I found out what exacerbates mine. After some lengthy experimental detective work, I'm 99.9% sure that "Crest" brand anything is what makes mine flare up. Odd that it would be the very thing I use to care for my mouth! We switched to Aqua Fresh and so far so good! The human body is such a crazy gig... Take good care of your bodies kids!! You never know when something as stupid as geographic tongue will slip in to get ya! ;)

Should've SHUT my big mouth...

2011-09-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Remember when I was just talking about taking my car in to get some recall work done and how the guy called me half way through my Rumbi salad to tell me that my car needed some work and how they could do it... and I was like "nah...that's ok...my husband is pretty good with cars and he can fix anything if it needs it, etc, etc..."? So NO, none of the things they said "might become a problem" have been an issue, BUT...a few weeks ago, Doug and I were headed down Parley's Canyon when suddenly the ABS light inexplicably comes on. Hmmm? Doug taps the breaks and the car shudders. Breaks are still there, but the ABS isn't working. Just about the time mental images of fiery car crashes begin to flicker, so does the battery light. What the? We get to our exit on I-15 and as soon as the car goes into idle, it dies. Doug starts it back up again with no problem and we head a few blocks to our house. He says he'll look at it when we get home. Of course as people usually do, we get home, turn the car off, take our bags in the house, use the bathroom, etc...and before Doug can go out to look at the car, I spy a movie we'd rented two nights before that needs to go back to blockbuster asap. All I'm thinking about is the stupid $.99 late fee and I holler at Doug that I'll be right back. I hop into the car, turn the key and my car barely comes to life. Crap. I race down to blockbuster and come back, this time leaving the car running so that Doug can get to an Autozone immediately. About an hour later with no sign of him, I call to find out if he's on the side of the road somewhere...he's at the Autozone waiting to see if the alternator is bad. In that time, he'd already gotten there, had the battery checked, had the guy tell him it was bad, replaced the battery, got back in the car to come home...only to have the battery light come on again only yards from the parking lot... and there he sits. Turns out to be a bad alternator, which explained the break problem as well. Apparently the ABS system needs a certain amount of voltage to work and once the alternator went ca put, the ABS system did too. So, Doug and Pat spend that evening replacing the alternator. All is well, right?

Riiiight....

So last night Jenn and I are driving to Hyrum talking about what she wants to be for Halloween, when I spy the tiniest little flicker of red in my left peripheral. Did I just see the battery light? Here I am with my daughter 30 miles from home, 30 miles from her dad's and two hours from Doug, who's on call at a job in Provo. Double crap. Maybe it was something else? Maybe I'm seeing red lights? I'd probably prefer vision problems to car problems at this point. Jenn and I continue to chat away while I'm sort of panicking inwardly. "Please just let me get her to her dad's before anything happens!" We get to Brigham and I see it again...this time there's no mistaking it... (Audible) CRAP!!! I grab the phone to call Doug and tell him, without worrying Jenn, that I might need a rescue...didn't work. She looks at me with a face full of concern..."Are you going to be stuck on the side of the road all by yourself?" No, I reassure her. I'm going to be fine... (even if I do end up on the side of the road!!!) I am more than relieved to get her home and I reassure her once again that I'll be ok and that I'll text her when I get home so that she knows I'm safe. :/

I head off into the sunset, (literally) with one eye on the battery light... I say a little prayer, look at my phone with it's one battery line and decide that I must be sucking the electricity out of everything around me. I turn off everything in the car that isn't required to drive it and head home. With my handsome mechanic in Provo and a 4:00pm appointment that I can't miss, it looks like I'm gonna have to cheat on mine and take the little civic in for a looky loo somewhere else today... cross your fingers for me! BOO car problems!!

2011-09-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

New Beginnings

2011-09-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

The cat's outta the bag now...I feel like I've been playing this game of chess with myself for a long, long time now...I've made some stupid moves, I've made some great moves and now I find my self in a position to capture the king... Checkmate.

Doug and I went to our very first "parents night" for Jennah. It was a great feeling to actually get to introduce myself to her teacher and say the words, "Hi, I am Jennah's mom"...and then add to that..."I'm available whenever you need me...I'm happy to help" She was very nice and whether or not she was just being polite by taking me up on my offer, doesn't matter much...I actually did it and I plan on being there every chance I get. I finally have the opportunity to do something more...something normal for my girl. People will finally get to see who I am and...who we are together. Jennah was so excited when I told her... "I met your teachers, I saw your classroom and your desk and I get to come to your classroom and help!" Three of the biggest smiles you've ever seen and a hugs so tight, I thought we'd break one another in two. It's just the beginning little girl! We are beyond blessed today.

Celebrity Crush...

2011-08-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have a cousin-in-law who writes a pretty hysterical blog called "the weed". I was perusing it the other day and read a hysterical post about his wife's (my cousin lollie) celebrity crush on Lionel Ritchie. (Yes, I just said Lionel Ritchie...I don't get it either, but I love you lollie!) Her husband Josh was making funny comparisons between himself and Lionel and it got me wondering who Doug's celebrity crush is? He's never even said if he has one...? Hmmmmm?

I once dreamt that he left me for Kristen Bell and I woke up pretty ticked off, but that came totally out of left field. And, he did once agree with my little brother that Megan Fox was a "mega fox" (ha-ha..get it?) but still...there's no one that he's ever concretely admitted to having a crush on. Is it possible that there's no one out there in TV/Movie land that he finds "crush worthy"? Or is he just the kind of guy who doesn't tell? I'm sure he could care less either way. If I asked him, the conversation would probably go something like this...

Me: Honey, is there any celebrity that you think is pretty good lookin?

Doug: No.

Me: Come on...there's got to be someone you think is hot...

Doug: There's not.

Me: (whining just a bit) Really? You sure? There's got to be someone.

Doug: (irritated just a bit) I don't care about that kind of crap...why do you?

End conversation with a peck on the cheek.(muah)

So, here I am blogging about it...ha-ha...Doug will be so pleased.

I actually don't care about that kind of crap, really... I enjoy movies like "The Bourne Identity" more than I enjoy "Twilight" and I'm not enjoying it because I get to check out Matt Damon 's butt. I will admit though that I do have a celebrity crush... He's not main stream...no Brad Pitts or David Beckhams...I saw him in a mushy chick flick once that actually turned out to be a pretty great movie...
He was really, really cute and it's been celebrity crush history since then. Do I go all weak in the knees when I see him? No. Do I think about him when I kiss my hubby? No. Would I ever even approach him if I saw him on the street? No. Do I think about him at anytime during the day, on any given day of the week, during any given time of the year? An unequivocal, No. He's just your run-of-the-mill good looking guy that happens to make movies. Done and Done. Are ya wondering who it is or have you already stopped reading? ;)

One funny quirk about me...I get really uncomfortable watching people kiss on TV or in movies...immature as it may be...even at 38, I feel like I have to close my eyes when people are macking out on screen...so if you're like me...be warned....this is the cheesiest, corniest part of the movie you'll probably ever see, but it's why he's my celebrity crush...whew! Enjoy...cause he's sure cute. Btw...if I ever do find out who Doug's celeb crush is, I'll let ya know...(as long as it's not Lionel Ritchie.) ;)

P.S. If you were too cheesed out to watch the whole thing like I usually am (*cough*), his name is Timothy Olyphant and the movie is called "Catch and Release"...good flick if ya have 2 hours to spare and who wouldn't when you get to see this...

Say Cheese...

2011-08-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Finally getting it done!

I pinned down a time for us to have new family pics done and I'm soooo excited! A very talented friend who lives here in our ward takes some incredible pics and we're seriously in need. The pictures I have hanging in my hall are from 3 years ago and the kids have changed so much...Casey doesn't even look like the same kid! October it is...sweater weather, changing leaves, Casey's braces come off October 5th...should be fantastic! Check out Patience's awesome shots...
http://www.pashspictures.blogspot.com/

Can't wait to actually be the girl who sends the Christmas card pic of the family that includes the token black Labrador. Freakin sweet.

Get yer Fall on...

2011-08-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'm in the mood to de-summer my house... Problem #1: All of the "fall" deco I have is pretty directly related to Halloween. I'm obviously not going to put out Halloween yet. Problem #2: I haven't a creative bone in my body. Problem #3: I don't want to spend oodles and oodles of money. I've been to Hobby Lobby, Tai Pan, Target, and even Home Goods..all my favorites and ...nothing. Aside from a few candle holders, everything looks the exact s a m e. Every where I've been, it's either cheap-ish looking junk, or it's so ridiculously overpriced, I can't reconcile paying that kind of money for something that will only be on display in my home for a few months. Solution: last night I went on line to find some decorating ideas that would be easy and affordable and I jack potted! Found some great idea's and all of it... cuter than anything I've seen in the stores! Now my only problem is waiting a few weeks for pumpkins to be appropriate!

Why I still love Sinead

2011-08-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

I recently saw a less than flattering pic of Sinead O'Connor and it got me thinking about her again. I so love her music. What the heck happened to her? Musically, I mean...not that she's not still beautiful...just like the rest of us, she's gotten a little heavy and for her, waaaay more hair. I've loved Sinead since high school...her voice is other worldy, especially when she gets her Irish in there. I always thought she was stunningly beautiful, even with the no hair thing going on. I came across this song while I was looking for some of her other stuff...I've never heard it before, which kinda surprised me. Guess I'm not the Sinead aficionado I thought I was...

As I was listening though, I realized that I knew the words of the chorus...weird to have never heard a song before but know the words... I scrolled down and read that this is a cover of Elton John's song and then it was like "ohhhhhhh yeah, I remember."

Sinead singing this makes him singing it, sound pretty cheesy... and I'd imagine that's quite an achievement when you're talking about Sir Elton...(lame.) His personal life aside, the guy's got some pretty strong singing chops. Anyway...I thought this was pretty amazing and thought I'd share...lovin youtube, can you tell?

P.S. The music doesn't match the video for about two minutes, so it kinda bugs when you see her mouth moving differently than the words...like watching a kung fu flick, but the song's fantastic. I love how she looks like she's gonna rip someones head off when she sings...ridiculous amount of talent in that little body. :)

Forget me! It's my kids that are gettin old...

2011-08-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

I went to Logan last night to pick Jenn up for dinner and a "night on the town." (not possible in August, in Logan, just in case you wondered...) It's the first time I've seen her since the 7th of August and I was needing to see, hear, smell, hold, hug and kiss my sweet girls face off...And. I. Did.

It was her first day of school yesterday and I was anxious to hear all about it. After a long hug hello, she began telling me all about it...her teacher, her classroom, her friends...the old ones and the ones she hopes will be new, etc, etc... I am listening and thinking that something seems different...it's not something bad...it's just different. I realize that it's Jennah. She's getting older...(ouch! I think my uterus just winced!) The way she talks, the way she holds herself, the sort of stuff she talks about...it's all going 5th grade on me! It's glorious and sadly bittersweet all together. So we're riding down the road and she's telling me about her new teachers distaste for all things smelly, when I notice that my almost 11 year old has no hair on her almost 11 year old little legs. What the?! I look at her sideways and say "um...jenn, did you shave your legs?" Her face turning pink, then red, then almost purple... she looks at me smiling and says "yes mom...but they were sooooo hairy!" I wanted to laugh and scold her at the same time...but I didn't and I wouldn't. I could tell just by the look on her face. (One of the casualties of living in two houses...some things just happen and you don't/won't/can't know about it for 10 days or so...blah.) I take into account that my not-so-little-one does have some insecurities about her "hairy" legs and I don't always see things the way she sees them. To me, they're just my girls legs...the same legs she's had her whole life, albeit bigger....but to her, they're these hairy little things that walk her down the street. Plus, I don't think it helps that "all the other girls shave theirs!" Geez mom! I wasn't even ready to buy her deodorant when she asked...she was kind of hinting at in in walmart one day and I kept telling her that she didn't need it yet, that she was too little to have smelly armpits and as I'm saying it, I'm lifting her arm to demonstrate the effect and whoa...the girl needed deodorant! I'm in hardcore denial, but am truly grateful that my girl is growing, getting older and is healthy!

P.S. Jenn...now you know...I miss nothing. If I can tell that you've shaved your legs with 20/30 vision from 3 and a half feet away, while I'm driving... you're not gettin anything by me...just something to keep in mind for your teen years. ;) I love you so much my sweetheart and my baby you'll always be.

So our Casey also started his junior year of high school this week...He's loving it and I can't say I blame him. He's living the sweet life...(for a 16 year old anyway!) a new (new to him) car, a darling and sweet girlfriend, and parents who love him and who say "no" more than we say "yes"...good life! He barely had a summer because he worked with Doug for most of it, but it paid off in spades when he plunked down cold hard cash to buy himself a sweet little cherry red Honda Prelude. (I have pics...just haven't downloaded yet!) He's loving it and loving the kind of freedom that only a car at "16" can provide. I worry just a little, even though I know what a great kid Case is. It's alot of responsibility, (insurance, maintenance, etc...) but his old soul has taken it on with apparent ease. Not that it's come without some drama...(see the parents who say no more than they say yes part.) His friends dig the heck out of it! The first night he had it, I was already in bed when Doug hollered at me to come out to the front yard...I wondered out in my jammies to see Casey's car saran wrapped with balloons all over it. The passenger side door window read "I'm HOT". Some of Casey's girlfriends had some fun with him and it was sweet! I'm so enjoying being a full time mom to Case. He is a joy in my heart and I love him so much! He bought me flowers on Wednesday! What teenager does that? I revel in all things teenage...I love his friends, his girlfriend, "making" him do his homework and chores, cooking him his favorite meals...all of it. My Heart yearns for this experience with both of my kids...hmmmm...one day.

An lastly, tomorrow is my brother Tom's 40th birthday party...what a celebration we have planned! Beth has worked so hard and I think it will turn out fantastic! Doug and I put together a video of pics for him that I wanted to download here, but it's not working for me...Windows 10...sheesh... anyway, still thought I could share some fun pics...Love my brother so much, love his wife and son, love his humor, his style and his ridiculous athleticism. I am so grateful that he lives so close and am blessed to have the family I do. Happy 40th old man dude...love you like a brother. ;)

Double click this pic and get a closer look of my smokin hot husband's freakishly strong arms...whew...weak in the knees babe, weak in the knees...rawrrr.

What You're Doing Matters...

2011-08-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

Who are you?

2011-08-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

I saw this on my friends blog and thought it looked fun, so here goes...

What was your favorite food when you were a child?
My mom's homemade sweet and sour chicken wings

What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
"Show me what I'm looking for" by Carolina Liar

What is one of your favorite quotes?
Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously ~Jason Mraz

What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
Weeding the garden

What is your favorite form of exercise?
Pilates

What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
7:00pm/Friday/October

What’s your least favorite mode of transportation?
Any kind of public transportation...I'm too impatient to wait for anything to come get me!

What is your favorite body part?
My nose...it's little and sorta cute-ish.

What sound do you love?
The kids when they laugh really, really hard...really hard.

If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint?
Multonomah Falls in Oregon...B E Autiful.

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?
30 - I have no idea why. 30 was a rough year for me, but I think it's generally a pretty good age...not too old, not too young.

If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently?
There's lots of things I'd like to do if I knew the world was ending...spend all the time I could with family and friends, go on a trip to the east coast in the Fall, run the Colorado River, etc...but what I'd do differently...something that I don't do daily now?? Spend time with Jenn every single day and find opportunities to testify that Jesus is the Christ every single day.

If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor?
Marjorie Hinckley - I think she's incredible... and funny!

If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?
The birth of Christ.

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?
Sign language

If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?
Cliff Jump

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Chelsea, cause it's a cute name and all the Chelsea's I've ever known, rock.

If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?
Brandon Flowers, just cuz...

If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be?
Why did God create mosquito's? They suck...literally.

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?
Finn the adventurer!!

Which celebrity do you get mistaken for?
ha-ha, um...that would be no one.

What songs are included on the soundtrack to your life?
I am a child of God, Lost by Coldplay, The Story by Brandi Carlisle, Price Tag by Jesse J., Strip Me by Natasha Bedingfield, O my Father, by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Constant as the stars above, by Barbie (really, Barbie!)

Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? Yep - I'll give ya one guess.

What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up?
Soul Surfer

What’s the scaredest you've ever been?
It's a toss up...either coming out of anesthesia with tachycardia or the time Jennah had really bad flu...her temp was 103 and climbing...I got her to the doctor and as we were waiting, she was just completely limp in my arms. I had her all bundled up in her Dora blanket and I remember holding her close to my chest and just rocking back and forth, back and forth, wrapped in my arms. I'd never seen her so sick and it scared me to death!

What was the last experience that made you a stronger person?
Having surgery after the last surgery!

What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?
Amongst (many) other things...sneaking out of the house.

When was the last time you had an amazing meal?
2 hours ago...BBQ chicken and crab salad...yum, yum.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever given?
I guess you'd have to ask the recipient, but two years ago I called the Pearl Harbor museum and bought Doug a flag that had flown over the USS Arizona on a date of my choosing and had it shipped to Utah with a certificate signed by the US Navy...I put it in a flag case and gave it to him for Christmas. He loved it!

What do you miss most about being a kid?
Elementary school...particularly the 4th, and 5th grades...

What is your first memory of being really excited?
Christmas at my grandma and grandpa Shea's

What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
Concert tickets for Tom and I to see "Ah-ha"

When was the last time you were nervous?
Speaking in church two weeks ago. Angie thought I was going to have a heart attack, for real!

What is something you learned in the last week?
That if you plant your cucumbers too close to your squash, your cucumbers will start looking like squash because the same bee's are pollinating both plants. Duh...

What story do your parents always tell about you?
When I closed myself into the linen closet as a baby and they couldn't find me. eek!!

At what age did you become an adult?
About 31...after my divorce and my dad's death, things suddenly just clicked.

Hmmmm, know me any better? Now let's hear from you!!(Kellye!!) :)

I heart Pinterest!

2011-08-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

http://pinterest.com/

LOVE THIS SITE!!! Can't wait to start posting some of my own stuff...and P.S... I know some extremely talented people who pin some pretty incredible stuff of their own! Thanks for the add Britt!!

Who loves you?

2011-08-11T12:26:00.001-07:00

Doug will frequently look at me and say "who loves you?" I will sometimes tease and give him an array of names before I finally confess that I know that he loves me.

We successfully waded our way through blending our families with the fantastic outcome of two children who love each other (and sometimes argue) as though they are birth siblings. Not to mention that I love and adore his family and my family equally loves and adores him. We lost a pregnancy and withstood the tidal wave of heartbreak that followed. He's comforted me through the dark days of not living with my Jennah and I've been at his side while we successfully fought for custody of Casey. We're raising our children, and preparing for the future. Great things to come for our family!

There's nothing we don't know about each other and there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. I pray that I am able to live a long life with my sweet husband. Thank you sweetie, for all your hard work, for your example, for honoring your priesthood, for making me laugh and for always, always reminding me that I am the one you love. I love you too plus more...

Doug Eternally

2011-08-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

Almost 2 years ago, Doug and I were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple. We'd seen some though times in our short little marriage and I remember thinking, if we can just get to the temple, everything will be so much easier! Ha-Ha...

About 6 months after we were sealed, I couldn't help but think "there must be something wrong with us...why do things seem so much harder now than they did before?" "Why is our now eternal marriage so much more challenging? Didn't we do what was right?" I reflected on our path and knew that obeying our Heavenly Father wasn't the only reason Doug and I decided to be sealed. We wanted to be sealed so that we could be together forever and so that our children could be with us forever. We had faith that the ordinance performed in the temple would literally bind us together eternally. I kept my thoughts of doubt and fear to myself and hoped inwardly that everything would smooth itself out. One afternoon a few months later, I was having a conversation with a dear friend. She confided that she and her husband had fought more than they ever had after being sealed. So, it wasn't just me/us... a sad conclusion that left me discouraged. We talked about it for a few days and wondered aloud how this could be?

The answer was there the whole time... Every good marriage is a blessing. It's a blessing to the people who are united. It is a blessing to the children who are in it and to the family who is a part of it. Divorce is so horrible. Even when divorce is a good thing, it's still a hard thing. I've been taught my whole life that family is the most important thing in life. It is the only physical thing we take with us into the next life. Looking back, I don't know where I'd be without my family and having my own children has been a blessing beyond comparison. Our marriage had become eternal and in so doing, the price on it had become even greater. The stakes were raised... So for instance, if I were the devil and I was out on the prowl to destroy a house, would it give me greater pleasure to destroy a small house or a mansion? I mean, I'm out there destroying houses...might as well get the most out of it that I can, right? That's not to say that marriages not solemnized in the temple are worth less! Not at all!! I think he's gunning for every marriage and sadly, he's succeeding...at least for now. For us personally, we truly believe that our marriage is eternal and that the covenants we made in the temple are real. I'm so grateful for this blessing! Now when those hard times come by, I think "who wouldn't want this fantastic-ness?" It is a prize worth stealing and if he can, he will. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father loves all of His children and the evidence of that is the work we do in the temple. That even some who don't obtain testimonies of the Savior during their life, are given that opportunity if they want it, even after they leave this earth. It doesn't make sense to everyone, (even me sometimes!) but it doesn't have to right now. I'm grateful to know that those wonderful marriages that are such an example to me today, will have the opportunity to be eternally blessed someday as well.

And P.S...no worries...incase this post left you with questions of how our marriage is doing, it's rockin. Yep, we go through the highs and lows...just like everyone else...whoa, shocker. I'm madly in love with Doug and I plan on it for eternity. And for those of you thinking about being sealed, (PLEASE DO IT!) this post isn't meant to scare you off...Temple marriage is such a blessing! I wanted to express an honest insight into something I think everyone feels at one time or another. Even through the tougher times, we know without doubt that we have a celestial marriage. The Lord blesses us daily with more than we deserve! Just like everything else in life, if it's too easy...it probably isn't worth it. ;)

Some day....

2011-08-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

I'm looking forward to this...

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

~Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

If I'm not as faithful as I need to be right now, know that I'm working on it. We get on our knees every night and pray that you know that we love and miss you and that you're safe and happy. I am where ever you are and if there are people in your life who have a problem with that, they can take it up with God...because I'm not going anywhere and if He is on my side, because I am faithful, nothing is impossible.

We LOVE baby Finn

2011-08-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

About 4 or 5 months ago, Casey started watching a show on Cartoon Network called "Adventure Time." I would catch glimpses of it here and there, but it wasn't ever really anything that stopped me in my tracks. One night we were sitting together watching TV when the DVR popped up with a notice that it was about to change the channel so it could record an episode. So, here was my big introduction...I laughed so hard for 30 minutes, my sides hurt afterward. It's definitely an acquired taste. I'm sure some people would think it's the most ridiculous show on the planet, but we think it's hysterical. This is just a bit from one of the more recent episodes...Finn is an adventurer and he's trying to help his friend Marceline. They go into Finn's memory and she stumbles across this little nugget...baby Finn singing and dancing. Jennah actually had this memorized in about 2 minutes and it's been a fun little diddy that even our friends have gotten hooked on. (tiffany was singing it to herself in a sealing session at the temple!) We love Adventure Time!

My kinda music baby...

2011-08-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

My new favorite!! I LOOOOOVE this song and wanted to share...ENJOY and TURN IT UP!!!

These are a few of my favorite things...(about girls camp)

2011-07-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

Girls Camp was fantastic!!!

Top three moments...

Skits: Every year either at stake camp or at ward camp, we get to showcase our theatrical (or lack there of...**cough, cough**...becky) talent. This year we split the girls into three teams, gave them each a sack with ten items that they needed to incorporate into their skit and three words that they needed to use as well... The girls did a great job! They were really funny! Jennah was the spotlight of her skit and she did such a great job wowing the crowd. Little actress! The leaders also did a super hero skit of our own, which turned out pretty dang funny too. Lots of fun!

Testimony Meeting: Always a great evening. Almost all of our 21 girls took the opportunity to share their testimonies which were each heartfelt and inspiring. Again, even Jennah joined in and bore a beautiful testimony. I don't mean to keep singling her out, because obviously I enjoyed so many moments with each of the girls...but on this particular night Jennah's testimony was especially moving to me. We sat around the fire, under what seemed like a bazillion stars. I bore my testimony and spoke about Casey receiving his patriarchal blessing...when I finished, I heard a stifled little cry next to me. I looked over to see tears rolling down Jennah's cheeks. She was unaware that Casey had had his blessing and was upset that we hadn't waited for her to be there. My heart completely sunk...of course we would have had her there! It was something we'd planned on talking to her about as a family when we were all back together Friday... but stupid me just let it fly. I took her up onto my lap and explained how the date was set by the Patriarch and that we would have loved to have her there. I told her that Heavenly Father needed Casey to get his blessing when he did for a reason. A few moments passed in silence and then suddenly Jennah sat up to bare her testimony. I won't go into great detail, but it was absolutely beautiful. Much more mature than you'd think a girl of 10 (almost 11) would be. She began to pour her heart out about how much she loves her brother and her family and how she cannot wait until she gets a little older so that our family can be sealed. I'm so proud of my girl and the young women she is becoming and again so grateful that she is able to experience moments like this with me.

Bumpy Ride: A friend who is also one of the counselors I serve with, offered to ride with me to pick Jennah up in Hyrum. We decided that we'd take the road that goes over the mountain between Liberty (where camp was) and Avon, which is only a few miles from Hyrum. We plotted it out on Leslie's GPS and discovered that the road was only a few miles long...with any luck, we'd get to Jennah in half the time it would take to go all the way down the canyon, over to I-15, up Sardine Canyon and over to Hyrum. So off we went... I thought I'd been on the road before, but once we were driving it, I didn't remember it at all. It was steep and rocky. I didn't want to run the A/C (needed all the power I could get!) which made for a hot, dusty ride but I had lots of fun riding with Leslie! We've been friends for 2 years but I got to know her better in that hour and a half than I have in the two years I've known her. What an awesome girl!! We had no cell service and I'll admit after what seemed like forever, I was a little worried that we'd taken a wrong turn...plus, about a mile from Avon we came up over a hill and saw a man standing in the middle of the road. He was wearing a white golf shirt and khaki pants. At first I thought he was a forest service ranger, but as we got closer it was clear that he wasn't. I slowed down a bit and pulled over to pass him. He hailed us and asked if we'd take him down the mountain. First reason I didn't say yes, the HUGE knife (think crocodile dundee HUGE) he had on his belt buckle. He mentioned that he was on a glider that went down...wait, what? You essentially just fell from the sky...so the second and third reasons I didn't say yes...he didn't look like he'd "just gone down" on a glider...not even a smudge of dirt on that white golf shirt. Plus, who wears a golf shirt and khaki's to go gliding? As a matter of fact, where is your glider? The terrain up there is pretty hilly. I couldn't imagine where he would have landed but wherever it was, it wasn't on the road. Fourth reason I didn't say yes, he asked whether there was a town close by. I'm not a pilot, but I'd assume that if you're going out on a glider jaunt...you know where you're going and what's around you...you know, towns, airports, and the like. I just didn't feel good about it at all. I didn't want to leave the guy stranded but knowing there was a town only a mile away, I figured he wasn't going to die up there. (He looked pretty hearty too ;) )I've seen too many episodes of "I Survived" to feel like this guy was ok. So, all in all it took us double the time to go over the mountain and I was 35 minutes late picking Jennah up. When I finally got service on my phone, I called to let her know what was happening and sadly discovered a very anxious and upset daughter. I was relieved and happy to finally get her in the car and we decided NOT to go back the same way we came. When we got back to camp, everyone was excited to see Jennah and she was happy as a clam. What an adventure!! Thank you Leslie!!

All in all, a very fun and successful girls camp...I love the Young Women! I truly love each one of them and am grateful for my calling...I love being a momma to my beautiful children who I completely adore. Already looking forward to next year! :)

Random Pics from Lava and Pineview

2011-07-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

We had a great time going to Pineview and Lava Hot Springs with the Howes in June...the boys got the chance (and some scrapes and bruises) to go down the river in Lava, the fireworks show set the mountain on fire and the boy's birthday party at Pineview was lots of fun! Sweet Summer...more pics later!

Totally Random...(just keeping the writing streak going!)

2011-07-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

We got a funstastic game of volleyball going at 9:00 last night... Who plays volleyball at 9:00 anyway?! The weather was cool and windy...Tom and Beth have such a great backyard complete with a pool, trampoline, hammock and a beautiful pergola that holds a permanent volleyball net. The only thing missing was Jenn. This is summer to me. I'm grateful to have a brother who lives so close. We've spent many hours in Tom and Beth's backyard and I don't think they realize how much we enjoy and appreciate it. I miss the times that we were all there together. Kell and Jordan are in Florida and Rick is in North Carolina. We've sort of become that family that has kids all over the place. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, is something I know too much about. :)

Getting ready for girls camp next week...I'm so grateful to the women I serve with...Ang, Leslie, Tiff, Britt, Sam, and Sandra, and to the camp committee, Chels and Sherri and to the best bishop ever. They made special arrangements to include Jennah because they know (of course they know) our circumstances, but more than that...they understand. They are awesome and I love them so much! It is going to be a blast and I'm so excited for the YW to experience it again! I adore our girls and am especially excited for the new beehives and first years to go! One of the best nights we have is testimony meeting around the fire. These girls have huge testimonies! It will be a great time! I'm so excited for Jennah to be able to come with me again and am grateful to these great people who help it happen! It's a wonderful experience for her too and the girls love her!

Even more random...I'm thinking about learning how to do some needle point, I found some super cute stuff on a blog and it looks pretty easy...there are some way cute ideas and I think Jenn and I would have fun with it...I'll let ya know how it works out... :)

And lastly, I've been missing my Dad the last few days... what a great man he is!! I think about his life and all he went through and how great his life was when it ended too soon. He was so funny, so loving and so smart. He loved us so much. He did so much to help us, especially those last few months. Funny thing about Dad, he had this one side to him...we joked that he was the "beast of 10th east" and it wasn't because he was mean or anything, but he was a papa bear. If you messed with his family or home, he would go after you quick. But more importantly he only went after you if he knew you were in the wrong. He wasn't a "vengeance is mine!" kinda guy. I think there are a few people who felt like my Dad stuck up for me even when I was in the wrong just because I was his daughter, but they don't know that for as much love and support as I received from him, I received just as much lecture and counsel. I most assuredly inherited the "don't mess with my family" trait from my dad and it's not always been to my benefit, but I wouldn't change it if I could. I'm not a tough girl by any means...in fact, my sister would probably tell you that I need to stick up for myself even more than I do but sometimes, that's just not the case...We were walking Bogey the other night and Jenn was skate boarding along with us. She'd just fallen and had bloodied and brusied her elbow...I was in the middle of comforting her, trying not to make a big deal out of it because I want her to be strong and not afraid to get back on the board, so I was simultaneously telling her that she was awesome, like "how cool are you for getting a rockin skateboarding injury!?" when one of our neighbors walks by with his "grumpy" dog, who bogey obviously goes right to, because Bogey is also rockin and he loves other dogs. This guy gets all upset and starts cursing a blue streak at us for not having bogey leashed. I consequently became the "beast of 825 east." I doubt my mom was much pleased whenever my dad had his moments, but she appreciates them now... and what it taught me then and now, is that as good natured, funny and loving as he was, you didn't mess with his family. The thing is, I can totally see this guys point, you see a big black dog walking up to you, I'd get a bit nervous too...but his reaction was oddly hostile. Who knows, maybe he was having a bad day, and he was absolutely right, I should have had my dog on a leash, but when I've walked him for two and a half years, off a leash in the church parking lot across the street from our home, late in the evening, in a neighborhood where everyone (except you) knows and loves him...I'm going to get kinda lippy when you start freaking out in front of my daughter. Good grief. Hopefully, just like my Dad, my sweet side is more apparent then my beast side. I'm sure there are a few who would disagree and don't get me wrong...I'm not proud that I have the ability to go off on people, but seriously...don't be one of those people... I totally understand you, so please understand me, that wrong or right we were just walking our dog and just because your dog is little and can be held in your arms un-leashed, its not any less of a threat than mine and it's still un-leashed. Don't be a hypocrite, it makes you look ridiculous. So come on over to my house, have a seat on my couch and let me know how inexplicably angry you are. Tear me a new one if it makes you feel better, but shut your swear hole in front of my bleeding ten year old and don't tell me to leash my dog while you stand there with yours un-leashed. Now that we've got that cleared up, lets be friends. Love, The Beast ;)

Love and miss you Dad...thank you to you and mom for instilling in me the kooky ability/need to stand up for myself... :0)

For Jennah:

2011-07-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

I read this on the blog of a friend who lost her daughter a few years ago. I don't pretend to put my situation anywhere near hers and the heartbreak that she's experienced losing her daughter. I bawl every time I read her blog. I cannot fathom such a loss and pray that I never have to. Though my blessings are without number, I do feel the loss of not living with Jennah very deeply every single day. I am so grateful to have her and blessed with sweet memories of the exact moment I knew she was there... I love you Jennah.

The Cord (author unknown)

We are connected, My Child and I,
By an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord that connects us 'till birth
This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.
This cord starts to work, right from the start.
It binds us together, attached to my heart.
I know that it's there, though no one can see.
The invisible cord, from my Child to Me.
The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord man could create.
It withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone, though you're not with me.
The cord is still there, but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore.
But this cord is my lifeline as never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way,
A Mother, her Child, nothing can take away.

What a dumb girl and the man in black have in common...

2011-07-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

There's a mouthful...

Yesterday was one of those days...trying to catch up on housework and laundry after Lava, plus I had an appointment with the Honda dealership to have some recall work done on the car. Recall is such a crap word. I guess it's a good thing though because if I'd ever gotten into an accident with someone sitting in the passenger seat, the airbag could've done some serious damage. And ya think ya know your car...sheesh little Honda! So the service department at the dealership saw me coming a mile away...dumb girl bringing her car in for a recalled airbag. I dropped it off and headed down the road for lunch and some window shopping with Tiff. Somewhere between Rumbi Salad and TJ Maxx I got "the call". "Hi Mrs. Low this is so and so from blah, blah dealership...your airbag is done, plus we did an 86 gazillion point inspection on your car and it looks like you need $3000.00 worth of work done." Uh, huh...riiiight. There are a few things that Doug's a stickler about...food, being on time, his garden and lawn and...you guessed it, his car. He's my genius mechanic and he obsesses about making sure that everything works how and when it's supposed to. That car hasn't missed an oil change, a tire rotation, a tune up...nothing. I can't fathom that any of the things they said were wrong with it could/would really be wrong and even if they were...Doug could fix them. I wouldn't have to or even need to pay someone three grand to do it. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I hate to say it, buts let's pray that they truly were trying to take advantage of a "dumb" girl and that my engine doesn't drop out the bottom of the car while I'm driving it.

So, onto Mr. Cash... I've always kinda liked him. He's that good o'l boy, turned musician, turned father, turned rebel, turned addict, turned good o'l boy once again. The first picture I remember seeing of him was the one where he was flipping off the camera. I'm not gonna lie, as bad as it sounds the first thought that came to my head when I saw it was "what a bad a**". Coolioooooh. So a few years ago when "walk the line" came out, Doug and I went to see it and we both loved it. I cried through alot of it, which sounds odd, but I loved it. Last night Doug and I watched a documentary on Folsom Prison Blues and there was a portion where one of Johnny's bandmates was describing him, his personality and all...I was amused to think that it was how I would have described myself if I really thought hard about it...basically a good guy who loves people, a papa bear with sharp claws who can be slightly nuerotic (which drives some folks nuts), plus a few o t h e r things... ;) I hit the rewind button a couple of times...I looked at Doug and said, "that's me," Doug didn't disagree, he just looked at me and said "you're beautiful". Awwww...oddly enough, I guess I was right. ;)

Hello...

2011-07-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

I've had a few people ask me why I don't blog anymore, which surprises me because I had no idea that anyone would miss this... I had a few extra moments today to write and even have some great pics to post, but that'll have to wait since I can't figure out where they went! Just an update, we're all doing fantastic...it's already mid-summer (duh) and we're already done with the longest portion of our extended visit with Jennah. It went by way too quick as usual and today is my first day without her in a month. Guess you know how I'm feeling about that ;( We had a great visit though...Lagoon, swimming, camping, and a small family vacation in Lava Hot Springs over the fourth of July. My favorite day with her this month was by far our bike ride to Farmington. We have this great little trail behind our house that starts somewhere north of us and ends at the Legacy Parkway in Farmington. Jenn and I took a small ride one day and made it as far as Kaysville, but with little water and no phone, I decided it was best to turn around and save the rest of the trail for another day. So a few weeks ago on a sunny afternoon, we packed our bag with water and granola bars and an hour and a half later, I took a pic of jenn wide grin and all standing under the Legacy Highway sign. She did fantastic! She loved it! It was a day that I will always remember and hope to have with her again this fall when the leaves change and the days get cooler. Casey is doing great and is working so hard! He got a job with Doug and even though I know how rough it is physically, he is a total trooper. He comes home pretty exhausted and a little beat up, but I know that it's building his character and is teaching him the value of hard work. Plus, he's saving money for a car and I love, love, love that he and Doug have these days together. Our lives have been so blessed and have changed so much since Casey decided to live with us...which speaking of, one more signature is all we're waiting on and we will officially have custody of him. We are so happy! What a dream come true for Doug! It's been 16 long years and he's never given up! I pray that this dream will one day be mine too. The Lord has plans for us! We look forward to the rest of our summer and can't wait to get up to Kamas to spend time with family and friends! Doug and I were two seconds away from buying a trailer a few weeks ago, but decided to wait one more year when our car is paid off so that we don't have what would essentially amount to an extra car payment...yikes! I can wait! When it's there, I want to be able to spend oodles and oodles of time in it and right now, Doug and I are super busy...hopefully next year things will be a little more mellow and we can spend some time in the mountains with the kids! I have lottsa stuff in the works blogwise and will keep you updated! :) Happy Summer!

MISSING!

2011-03-08T08:42:00.001-08:00

I lost one of my posts! If my blog doesn't make any sense, it's because it stole one of my posts! Weird! Ahhh well...the blog goes on. :)

Pics I Promised

2011-03-06T20:21:00.001-08:00

I can't believe that I got these posted so quick! Three cheers for me! :) So...here are the pics from Jenn's spelling bee and from Casey's dance. Note the pic of Case and I...he looks absolutely thrilled huh? Ha-ha! It was his first pic of the night and he was dreading us taking any photos of him! Little did he know that all the moms (and even some dad's) showed up with their camera's! Muahaha! Stinkin cute kids! Some of Jenn's pics are a little fuzzy too...we really need to get a new camera! I'm not gonna complain though because not being able to be there made me sure grateful to Case for getting these pics for me! There aren't any shots of her actually spelling, because he shot video of all those moments and unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to down load video on my blog yet...what a beautiful girl, and was a great speller. And of course, I had to include some pics of our Boge who incidentally hit a car last week. Note that I said, hit a car and not, was hit by a car. Silly dog ran after Boss (grandma's cat) and right into a car that was driving by. Thankfully and luckily he wasn't hurt...I think it just knocked him stupid. How can a dog be so smart and so dumb at the same time? lol! He's not really dumb...he just loves, loves, loves to chase the cat...even if it means denting the side of a Mazda with his head. ;)

Being Gone, Being Here

2011-03-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

Surprise, surprise...it's been months since I've blogged and even though I'm sure no one reads this anymore anyway...I've still decided to write! I think the trick to this blogging thing is shorter posts. I could blog every day if I'd just shut my mouth...but there's always soooo much to say and I can't help but go into novel mode. It's gonna be hard to keep this quick, but I'll just fill ya in on what's been happening in our lives and see what comes of my short and sweet concept. First, our little Jennahbean performed in her schools spelling bee and came in 5th place! We are extremely proud of our girl! She did a wonderful job (even though I wasn't there to see it! - major case of stomach flu that had me retching first yellow, then green stomach bile every hour for 8 hours...super fun! Ever prayed for death?) The heartbreak of missing it was a gazillion times worse than the flu itself, and I pray that Jenn truly understands the circumstances. :/ She's a strong little girl and I know that she knows how much I love her and how proud of her I am. She is doing wonderfully in so many things and I miss her more than words can describe. Friday can't come soon enough for us...not seeing our sweet girl takes it's toll on our entire family...We all miss her so much. Our Case has had two major events recently as well...the first started out as a phone call from a girl he goes to school with seeking our permission to ask him to the girls pref dance at Clearfield High. He said yes and they had a great time! Since then, he and Rachael have become great friends. She is completely adorable and Casey seems to really get along with her. Oddly enough, our families have old roots...my mom used to babysit her dad and he once lived with my aunt and uncle...it's a small world indeed. The other news for Case is that he was one of eighty something guys who tried out for the Clearfield soccer team. He got picked for the 2nd day of tryouts and finally was one of only 4 sophomores invited to play on their varsity team. We're so proud of him and love him so much! He works so hard and it definitely shows! He's been through alot in the last few months, but he is flourishing and we're so proud of both our kiddos! Doug is still busy as ever with work and school. His company recently lost one of their top techs, which was a double bummer because not only was he Doug's right hand man, he is also a good friend. It was hard for Doug to see him go, not only because his work load just doubled, but he wont get to work with Dave on a daily basis. :( I happened to like Dave alot too and I will miss his antics! Doug is doing great in school and is getting straight A's as usual. I wish we could push fast forward on this education thing, but he's learning alot and we truly believe that an education is one of life's more valuable assets. I'm proud of him and am grateful for his hard work and dedication. It takes a certain kind of man to take a daily beating at a brutal, environmentally unforgiving job, then come home take on his classes... all while putting his family first. I love my husband so much. I wish everyone could have a "Doug" for a husband. And now for me...not much here. I wish I had some ridiculously sunny news but unfortunately, as wonderful as life is and as blessed as I am...I have had a rough couple of months. Over the last couple of years, I've occasionally had this stupid pain underneath my right rib but I always assumed that it was just indigestion because it always went away pretty quickly...that is until a few weeks ago. Talk about praying for death. I finally broke down and went to the doctor who diagnosed it as a bad gallbladder. I thought for sure I was being stabbed from the inside out...but hey...he was the doc. ;) After a fun 2 hour test called a hidascan, it was verified that my gallbladder was a total slacker. So, surgery was scheduled and I had it out! It went alot better than I'd anticpated and the staff at McKay Dee was super awesome. I still have some work to do with my medical anxiety... I'm still a huge chicken...but this was definitely a step in the right direction. Once again my post sounds suspiciously like a Christmas letter, but all in all, we are doing great!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-12-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

Our little family had an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday! Grandma and Grandpa Low came up from Mesquite and we all enjoyed a delicious turkey dinner with Greg, Kim and Brie in their home...it was so wonderful to be with them and catch up on the happenings of life. Grandma, Greg and Kim, made a fabulous dinner with all the trimmings...which included sweet potatoes just the way I love em! After dinner and a few games of "Buzz Word", we headed back home to have some pumpkin pie and visit with our Shea family. Unfortunately, a stomach bug had hit some of them before we'd even got home, but we ended up spending the rest of a very enjoyable evening relaxing and catching up with my brothers and their families. What a great day! In fact the entire weekend was great! Jennah had her first "friend" sleep over with Cassidy...her "twin" sister from another mother and they were an absolute hoot! Playing Wii games, Fashion shows for their LIV dolls and whispered secrets long into the night...until Dad had to tell them it was really time for them to fall asleep. The only downside to the weekend was that Doug was on call and ended up working all day Friday while I took the kids to a movie. But... the rest of the vacation was spent relaxing together as a family and genuinely enjoying one another! Casey got to snowboard, Jennah had her sleep over...and for Doug and I, just having them here is the best thing ever! All in all everyone had a lot of fun! We also ended up finding an absolutely gorgeous 10 foot Christmas tree for a fabulous deal! We already have a beautiful fake tree, but I'd been feeling a little nostalgic about getting a real one this year...one with that yummy Christmas tree smell and Doug happily agreed. So Saturday afternoon was spent decorating the tree and readying the house for Christmas...there's nothing like a house at Christmas. It's wonderful!

So on a little side note, earlier that morning over breakfast, Jennah and I were pouring over the 10lb newspaper that comes Thanksgiving Day overloaded with stacks upon stacks of "Black Friday" deals. I have never shopped on black Friday...never...and I hadn't planned on it, until Jennah showed me a picture of an interactive computer art game/toy that she suddenly couldn't live without. I took a look at the picture and agreed that it actually looked like a pretty great toy at a pretty great deal...$30.00 marked down from $70.00! Did I dare brave the black Friday crowds? Oh, the horror stories I'd heard! I've become pretty thrifty in my old age (ha-ha...old age...funny!) but sometimes it's just plain worth it to pay more for something. (and my idea of "worth it" is not having to stand in a line for 3 hours in 2 degree weather!) I mused over the idea throughout the day and after dinner was done and the dishes were cleaned, I dropped the shopping bomb idea on Doug. "There's this great deal on a great gift for Jenn at Toys-r-us tonight and I really want to see if we can get it for her"...please?! The look on Doug's face was priceless. I'd just asked my husband, who hates shopping, to go out in the bitter cold with me on black Friday...to a toy store. What was I thinking?! To my wonderful surprise, he agreed. I even promised he could stay in the warm and cozy car while I "ran in and ran out"...we'd be home by 11:30! Ohhhhh was I wrong! Like I said, I know nothing about shopping on black Friday...I knew nothing about the crazies, the crowds, the lines, the traffic...etc...but I was about to find out. Toys-r-us was set to open at 10:00 pm on Thursday night, so Doug and I left about 9:30. We told Grandma that the kids were upstairs watching TV and that we'd be right back. Long story short, we did come right back! I have never seen anything like that, ever! Doug and I made our way to the store and noticed almost immediately that half of Davis county was headed for the exact same place we were. Still not worried, I just told Doug to pull into the parking lot and he could drop me off in front of the store. Um...once again, I had absolutely no idea what we were in for. The line came out of the store around the corner, all the way down the side of the building, up through a nearby FIELD, (did you catch that? I said a field! People were standing in line in a field!) then across the street, down in front of Michaels and Office Depot and finally down a side street next to Target. There must have been 3000 people in line and that's not my funny idea of exaggeration! I was stunned! Doug and I could only laugh and pray that Jennah's desired toy would still be there the next day after the crowds thinned out a bit (if that was even possible!) We did indeed make it home by 10:30, but we came home empty handed. The following day I made my way back to toys-r-us, praying that there wouldn't still be a line out the door but knowing oddly enough, that I wouldn't have been that surprised to see one. I turned the corner and let out a huge sigh of relief when I saw that there were NO LINES! My mission was clear and I moved through the store like a stealthy ninja! The crowds were still pretty bad and the cashiers line looked like a nightmare come to life, but if you'd seen the number of times Jenn had circled the picture of this toy she so desperately wanted... I had to find it! ;) Down one isle, up another...no success. My heart was sinking..."such a great toy, such a great price...it's gone...I know it" Just when I was about to turn back and head out of the store, I spotted it! There it was in all it's glory! I felt like that little kid on "A Christmas Story" when he sees the "Red Rider" BB gun in the store window display. I think I could actually hear the Tabernacle Choir singing the "Hallelujah Chorus" in my head! I literally jogged over to the display and grabbed the thing like I'd just found a bar of gold! I headed for the nearest, shortest line with happy visions of Jennah's face as she unwrapped the gift. What fun it will be to see her face light up! What a great time we'll have sitting down together to play! And then it happened...I wouldn't have noticed it a first...probably not until I'd actually purchased it and walked out the door...probably not even until I was wrapping the dang thing, would I have noticed that this toy...this metaphorical bar of gold, was a pre-school toy! What the?! Are ya kidding me?! It had to be a mistake? I walked back to the display desperately hoping that I would find one that said "ages 8 and up" at least! This was the toy! This was Jennah's Christmas gift coup de gras! I had the ad right there in my hand! It said nothing about it being a pre-school toy...nothing! But there it was on the box in big blue letters...ages 3-6. By now I was laughing out loud at myself and thanking heaven that Doug and I didn't stand out in the cold for 3 hours to get jenn a pre-school toy! I came home and had to break the news to her. I knew how much she wanted it and I didn't want her to be disappointed... so I explained the events of the afternoon and how if she wanted to download pictures of cartoon penguins and monkey's, I'd be more than happy to go back. The disappointment was there...but it soon dissipated after we googled it and she saw for herself that it was something way to young for her to enjoy. Ahhh well....lessons learned. Number one...as a huge, huge believer and advocate for the celebration of the real reason for the season, I was quite ashamed that I'd let myself get so caught up in something so ridiculous...of course I want my kids to enjoy their Christmas...all aspects of Christmas, the magic, the joy, the fun and excitement. But they also know that none of that happiness would be felt without the Savior. Our home is blessed so much more abundantly when the spirit of the Savior is felt, not only at Christmas time, but every other day of the year. He is what makes it so special. Without Christ, there is no CHRISTmas. I don't ever want to get that nutty over a Christmas gift again! And the second thing I learned? I will leave black Friday to the pro's...you want to find me next Black Friday? I'll be snuggled in my warm bed, sugar plums and all ~ Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Hot Diggity Dog...

2010-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

There once was a dog named Bogey...

Bogey is a beautiful dog...

He loves to play...

He loves to Lay...

And most of the time...he does obey!

Normally while Doug and I are at work, Boge spends his days in the back yard. It's his backyard...he loves his lawn, he loves his porch, he loves his toys and he loves (much to Doug's shagrin) to dig. The only thing Bogey doesn't love is his dog house. It's big, roomy and red...and he hasn't spent more than 1 minute in it. I blame his buddy Oscar...another male dog, who decided to check out Boge's new digs before Bogey could. Something about that whole male, alpha dog, scent thing...Oscar went in, laid down and that was it...Bogey wanted nothing to do with it from then on. Pssshh...

So this morning we woke up to rain pounding against our windows. As I meandered around the house getting ready for work, I wished that Boge did like his dog house...I knew while listening to the pouring rain that once he went out for the day, I would be coming home to a cold, muddy, and wet dog. But the other option didn't exactly thrill me either. Leaving Bogey in the house by himself for more than 4 hours leaves the possibility open...however unlikely, to potty breaks on the hardwood floors and other such types of doggy mischief. Crap...what to do? Weighing my options, I finally came to the conclusion that as gross as it was, hardwood floors are much easier to clean than a 110 pound labrador. Decision made! Boge was staying in for the day...and why not?...just look at this trusting face!

And besides, he had his "Dog" to keep him company...

"Dog" is bogey's stuffed buddy who he loves! He drags him all over the house... he nuzzles and licks him, playfully bites him and even cuddles with him! What could possibly go wrong?

So out the door we went and Boge was left on his own...
Fingers crossed, 5 hours and several high hopes later...I returned home, walked into our front door and saw...this. Oh joy.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It had been snowing outside all day long and it appeared as if it had snowed inside all day as well. It didn't take long to discover that poor "Dog" was no more. Bogey had decided that amongst other things such as ripping all the pictures, cards, magnets, etc...from off the fridge, pulling dish towels off the stove, chewing paper out of the printer, eating two golf balls and chewing a small piece of carpet remnant to smithereens, he was going to make short work of poor "dog" as well...

Poor sweetheart bogey, now you're so blue...if only you'd stopped after that first little chew. ;)

How could a dog who sits with such grace, be a ferocious animal with that cute little face?!

Inside or out, ferocious you're not...marshmallow sweet...our hearts you have caught. We love you Bubba!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2010-11-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share some pics of our beautiful fall surroundings...I'm getting so excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was radio surfing on Friday and came across FM100 and their annual round the clock Christmas music-a-thon. I actually changed it, not because I don't love Christmas music...but it was like 70 degrees outside and just a little too early for me. I found some great pic's right outside our front door and thought they were so beautiful...I wanted to share them. It doesn't have to be Christmas to be the most wonderful time of the year (I'll admit that for me, it's actually October 1st to January 1st! lol!) So, I know I'm no Ansel Adams, but I love the colors and I hope you do too!

Our Japanese Maple...fire red!

Pearly Dew Drops...

Check out the tree on the left...three different colors! Kind of a far off shot, but gorgeous!

And one more shot...we actually did end up taking advantage of the nicer than usual weather by putting up our Christmas lights! Doug and I must have both been feeling rather nostalgic in Lowe's that day, because we agreed (for once!) on the same lights right off the bat! We got the (huge) porcelain, multi colored, totally retro, totally cool house lights, and we LOVE them! Doug's mom and dad used to have lights identical to these and so did my parents and grandparents...we must be getting old school, but I dig it! Doug even had them turned on last night when I got home from YW! How bou't that! Tis the season and we can't wait!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

We had a fun and extremely festive Halloween this year! How grateful and excited we were to be together for the first time in almost a month! Our friends the Howes, invited us over for a delicious Halloween dinner, then Tiff and I had a great time walking the kids around the neighborhood for a little trick-or-treating... even if it was in the rain! Afterward, we headed back to the Howe's to play a few games of Mexican Train, while the girls munched on their sweet goodies and watched "Hocus Pocus"! FUN! Case and his friends had a good time scaring the little ghost's and goblins throughout the night and then were off to a party with friends. Jenn decided to be a ninja this year, which turned out great! She looked adorably fierce! We had a great time and were so glad to finally be together as a family and to share some fun with dear friends! Here's just a few pics of the festivities...hope you had a wonderful and safe holiday too!

Cassidy, Hailey, Hallee and Jenn trying to make an almost painful looking human pretzel... (Howes)

The girls checking out their candy haul...(Howes)

Jarom, Cassidy, Jennah, Hallee, Hannah, and Hailey before tricks-or treats...(Howes)

The girls looking cute as can be! (Howes)

Momma and her kidlets...yep...Case is taller than me! (Low's)

A boy and his sister...awww.... (Tom and Beth's)

Jennah in stealthy ninja action! (Low's)

Bogey has no idea he's about to become Jennah's next victim! Buwahhahha...(Low's)

Killer?...Nah...Killer beauty? Absolutely! (Low's)

Let me at 'em...Eeeee Yah! (Low's)

Didn't I used to Blog Here?

2010-10-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

I've all but given up on blogging haven't I? Ahhh! I've missed it and have been thinking about it a ton lately. I got a message from my sweet friend Nicole and decided right then...no more procrastinating! I used to write all of the time and (I think) it actually did me some good. I stopped because I began to feel like I was writing more of what I thought other people wanted to hear and less of what I really wanted to say. Maybe that's why I lost interest in it...I don't know. So I'm just going to try it the old way and see if it ignites my interest in writing again! So many things have happened in the few months that have passed since my last post and since it is so much, I'll just share some of the basic highlights....then none of us has to suffer a novel of Shakespearean proportion! ;) I am in love with the changing seasons. We are surrounded by beauty. One of my favorite parts is seeing the leaves change and fall to the ground. I have to admit...as bad as it is for the grass, I absolutely love a lawn covered with red, orange and yellow leaves...it is Fall to me. One of the good things about commuting to work is that I get to take in 45 minutes of Autumn's beauty. (minus the highway signs, crazy drivers and refinery pollution...of course) Pretty soon, my cider will be replaced with hot chocolate and I'll be listening to Christmas music on my way to work while trying not to slide off the frozen, snowy freeway...amazing that I'm actually looking forward to it, huh? My favorite time of year is here!

The view outside G&G Low's trailer in Kamas...B-E-A utiful!

Our kids started school (2 months ago!) and are enjoying it very much! Jenn is our beautiful 4th grader and has her first "boy" teacher... whom we'll affectionately call "Mr. T". She really seems to like him and is doing great as usual! We love to hear the stories she tells about his fun class room antics, including a hysterical story about how he inadvertently called his sweet wife a "dirtbag"... a story that had us in stitches. We are blessed that she is such a great student and that she enjoys school so much! We are always so proud of the work she does and the righteous choices she makes! SO many are blessed to have her in their lives! We love you bean! Casey is finally a legitimate high schooler and... so far so good! I always thought that Case was a good lookin kid, but man...he's become that guy...you know that guy...the guy in your high school that was so ridiculously cute and every girl wanted to date him! It makes me laugh! He is becoming a gentleman in every sense of the word. He is also a great student and we're very proud of him and the wonderful boy he is! We love you bud! And btw...if you're driving around Davis County, beware...Case finally has his drivers permit! Just kidding...he's actually a really great driver! :)

One of the biggest highlights of the last few months was the baptism of our sweet boy! The big day was September 18th, almost exactly a year to the day that Doug and I were sealed in the temple. What a wonderful day for all of us...especially Case! We are extremely proud of him and of his decision to join the church. It was a remarkable experience to watch my sweet husband step into the waters of baptism, raise his arm and baptize our son. I bawled, Jennah bawled, grandma's and grandpa's bawled. It was precious to say the least. It was a wonderful moment for both Casey and Doug to share together and it was wonderful as a wife and mother to witness it. I sometimes wonder how my children's little bodies hold such a great big spirits! We were so grateful for all of the family and friends support that we received! We love you all!

Doug and Case getting ready for the big moment...

Doug is working as hard as he ever has. He's gotten several projects done that simply amaze me. Our concrete is poured, our new carpet is in, all the painting is done and that's just the stuff at home. He's pulling all A's in school and works 60 hours a week. I don't know how he does it, but he does. I love him so much, and not because he puts the energizer bunny to utter shame... his company was just awarded the contract for the Payson Temple. He is so excited to be part of building a temple. It will be a wonderful experience! Snuggle babe...I love you!

And finally me...I guess my big highlight was the fireside. What an incredible experience. I really, really don't want this to sound like I'm sitting here patting myself on the back because that's not what it is at all! The last few months of preparation for it were hell. Yep...I said hell...but it was so worth it in the end! ;) Both my mom and Doug were excited for it to finally be over with so that I could stop my bawling. The preparation was the most difficult part for me. Talking about my experiences in such detail was fairly brutal. Memories can be a wonderful blessing, but they can also be wounds that hurt like nothing you can imagine. But through it, I realized even more the love my Father in Heaven has for me and how He has watched over me all of these years. He's guided my life to this point and I wouldn't be here without Him. I understand Christ's Atonement more than I ever have before. What an unmeasurable sacrifice! What love the Savior has for us! There have been so many wonderful blessings that came from this fireside and I will never forget them! I logged onto facebook that night and was surprised to see these comments...

Carie Campbell Bartley: Awesome Fireside tonight. I have the best ward ever, and the best inspiring friends in that ward.
October 10 at 9:20pm

Jane Deitrick: awesome day, better night..what awesome people we have in our ward.
October 10 at 9:29pm

Angie Dilks Raab: Erich and I went to incredible fireside tonight. It was very spiritual and uplifting and I am so glad we went
October 10 at 8:39pm
Cheri Ebbert and 3 others like this.

Michelle Jacobsen: I felt the same way! Wonderful!
October 10 at 8:57pm

Jennifer Garff Haywood: I HAVE AMAZING STRONG FRIENDS THAT ARE DOING WHAT THEY KNOW TO BE RIGHT, AND THEN BECAME EXAMPLES FROM THEIR AWESOME QUEENISH COOLNESS... HA HA! GREAT JOB TO HUGELY POWERFUL WOMEN THAT COULD CHANGE THE WORLD! NOT KIDDING!I LOVE YOU GIRLS!
October 10 at 9:03pm

Hailey Sue: What AWESOME AND GREAT words have been spoken tonight.. i shall never forget them!
October 10 at 9:41pm
Julie Mackay Carlson, Amy Mackey and Cheri Ebbert like this.

Leslie Wright Leavitt: That was amazing.
October 10 at 8:57pm

Again...not giving myself the kuddos...really!...because I struggled so much with this, but I was so grateful to see these comments...to see the effects of the Spirit and to get so many personal, loving messages from so many more friends. It meant so much to me! I didn't know how anyone would react to this...I didn't know how it would go or if anyone would even show up! But... they did and it was my privilege and honor to stand along side Katie and speak that night. I am the biggest chicken ever. When I have to stand to pray in front of people or when I go up to bear my testimony, I can hardly get ahold of myself. My heart races, my hands sweat...I am usually a fidgety mess...but that night, I was so calm. I sat peacefully listening to sweet Katie share her husband's story. I didn't stir or fidget. My heart didn't pound. It was one of the tender mercies of the Lord...a miracle that was especially tender to me. I was reminded of D&C 101:16 "Be still and know that I am God".
I was grateful for the opportunity and it changed my life forever. Thank you again to all who came!

So here are just a few pics of some of the fun times we've enjoyed over the last few months. We are so blessed and all is well! I promise not to go away for so long again! (Sorry Nic...I miss and love you too!) Have a Happy Halloween! Stay tuned for some fun and spooky pics!

Doug Flow riding!

Chaz boogy boardin! (Picture Jenn mastering this task ever so gracefully...she rocks it too but all her flow pics are stored safely on my "dead" camera...and I can't get to them! Argh!)

Our awesome friend Tristen - who is "cooler than us"!

Case after Trek...not bad after a week without a shower!

Me, Jenn and Brie getting ready for the campfire...(Jenn's exhausted!)

"Walk quietly, but carry a big stick"...

Quick family shot around the fire in Kamas...

Casey's baptism day with Elder's Christensen, Snyder and Shurtleff...

Tom Flowin!

Jenn getting teased by Case and Tristen...brothers!

Jenn, Case and Boge "ghetto" swimming at Pineview...

Jenn and her "twin sister" Cassie playing tag at Lindon's flowrider...

Case Flowin!

Jenn and Ash swimming like fishes!

My first girls camp in the young womens presidency...look at these beautiful girls!

Wedded Bliss

2010-07-25T06:24:00.000-07:00

He is sleeping next to me...in kind of a tossing and turning type sleep...he has to get up and speak in Sacrament Meeting in 3 hours. Whoa... He's speaking on "Pioneer Spirit". He could barely get through it on one of his practice reads yesterday. I'm crossing my fingers that he doesn't cry today, because then I'll cry and then Jennah will cry and then my mom will cry and we'll just be a bunch a bawl babies. Yikes. It's such a great talk! He hates to speak in public but he's so dang good at it! People will love it!

I love Doug...

He's such a great husband...my arm was a (small- super small) casualty of the fire works last night when one of those exploding flowers decided to take aim at me. When I felt it hit me, I jumped up (like the total wuss that I am..) and started yelling "ow, ow, ow, ow"... Doug was by my side, from across the cul-de-sac in a nano second. You'd have thought my arm had just been severed... (sheesh!) I'm such a drama queen about medical stuff...just a burn...no biggie, but I seriously wanted to slap myself and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who wanted to slap me. ;) Plus...special mention... He took me to Red Mango to get yummy frozen yogurt last week...Doug abhors yogurt, fresh or frozen. He has an iron stomach but even the smell of it makes him want to hurl. Takin one for the team...thank you sweetie.

I love that you are such a great dad to our kiddos...words cannot express how awesome it is to watch you with them. I love that you're such a good friend to everyone. I love that you have your head on your shoulders. I love that you bless our family with the priesthood. I love your pop corn. I love that we watch episodes of Arrested Development before we go to sleep. I love that we laugh at the same parts. I love that you'll be at camp on Tuesday and I love that you are willing to go. (even before I get there!) I love that you cried during your practice talk yesterday because I know that you truly believe the things you are saying and I love that you know it. I love that you say I'm beautiful (all the time)...even when I am clearly not. xoxoxo

I love you Doug!!

Missing You...

2010-07-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

Just thinking about you...

That first night...after we dropped you off, Dad, Casey and I came home late after watching the fireworks. We stumbled into the house, all tired and worn out from the days activities. I walked down the hall to get ready for bed and stopped at your door. Your room...the social epi-center of our house (why do all the kids like to play in your room?) was empty. I stood there for a long time, looking over all the Jennah things... Your American Girl Doll school, the pass along cards pinned to the wall next to your bed, your desk, your bean bag, your bed, your books and... your bath towel laying guess where? The floor!! Ha-ha! :) I pictured you standing on the bottom step of your ladder giving me good night snuggles and 55 good night kisses. After awhile... Dad came in, wrapped his arms around me and like a little kid who's just scraped her knee, I began to cry. I miss you...BUT...I know I'll see you soon...Ik hou van jou bean...

Hello?

2010-06-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

So...It's been something like two months since I posted on my blog.

Whoa.

I think this is officially the longest I've gone without blogging...I'm a shameless slacker.

If you're still out there...I'm here! I've been reading all of yours...I just haven't had the desire to write on mine...until today.

Summer's here in our usual style... lot's of swimming, late nights, sleeping in, hiking, biking, volley ball, Kamas, four wheelers, camping, roasting marshmallows, and so much more! Our kids are here for their first two week visit (Yay, Yay, Yay!!) and we couldn't be happier! Here's what's been shak'n at our house...

Kell, Jordan and the boys are staying with us and it's super fantastic! I love my sister and her family. I love that she's downstairs and I can see her, talk to her, hang out with her, cry to her, get advice from her...all our sister stuff, right here, right now. I love you Kell Jell, Jordan, Tater-tot and Hamboneicus.

My family is learning how to surf...for real. I have some sweet videos that I'll try to post. So hilarious, so awesome, such talented kids and so much FUN! Flowrider in Ogden is the bomb! Thank you to our friends the Howe's, for sharing this little gem with us!

Casey was this close to becoming a member of the church. Sadly, it will not happen for a little while, but we know that the Lord is in this...and the time will come...it will come. I'm so very proud of him. His desire, his questions...everything is there. If you have a minute, a prayer for a softened heart would be sweet. In the mean time, our family is stronger than ever. We've truly learned that the four of us on our knees are greater than an army of us in battle. I love the gospel and I love my Casey-man. In the mean time, Casey's getting ready for Trek and we're excited for him to have this experience! Plus, he gets to continue learning new things about the gospel from Elders Snyder and Christensen who are super cool...did I mention how much I love the gospel?

My sweet daughter is asleep in the next room. I can hear her bed creaking as she flips and flops under her covers. What a sweet sound. What a wonderful time it is to be alive. Last night the subject of our conversation turned to babies. She wanted to know if it hurt to have a baby? Somewhere in our discussion, I muttered something about how much effort it takes to push a baby out of your tummy and that because the effort is so great, sometimes the mommy will go potty at the same time...ummmm...gaarosssss...don't ask me why that specific detail was rendered...Jennah is an old soul and sometimes when I'm talking to her, I literally forget that I'm talking to an almost 10 year old. She's smart, but it's more than that...she's wise. So I'm giving her the g-rated version of giving birth and out pops that little tid-bit...and she begins to howl with laughter...I seriously don't think I've ever heard her laugh that hard and I loved it! So, I've either scarred her for life (not really) or I've given her a juicy piece of info that I'm sure she'll end up sharing with her little girl friends..."Did you know that sometimes a mommy goes potty while she's having a baby?! eeeeewwwwww!" I love you my baby bean.

My sweet husband is hard at work. There's nothing new about that...but I think about him all day. I think about his hands hard at work. We miss him when he's away. We love him so much and appreciate the sacrifices that he makes for us. No one has a Doug like my Doug. Nie has a necklace that says "I love Christian" and I want one that says I love Doug...and one that says I love Jennah and one that says I love Casey...I love you Doug.

Grandma is still hard at work as well. She's seems to be the female version of Doug. I personally want to set fire to Memorial Clinic (not really) so that the grandmama drama she gets to deal with on a daily basis from her slacker employees will finally come to an end and she can love life between the hours of 8:00 am and 6:00 pm once again. My mom is amazing. I love you momma.

And me...I'm just happy. I'm grateful to have my children here. I love my family and I love this time of year. I love my young women...they are incredible. I love the women I serve with...they TOO are incredible. They all make me want to be a better person everyday and I think I'm getting there little by little.

We (well, mostly me...) had an earth shaking moment a few months ago when one Sunday, my Bishop asked me to come see him in the middle of a gospel essentials class. Turns out that a family here in our ward, knew me (sort of) from my ward in Hyrum. That's all the Bishop needed to say and I dissolved into tears. But it was all good...well first it was bad...really bad...but then it was good...and soon it was great. Doug and I sat with this family and talked and talked and talked some more. It was awesome...I cried, they cried. They hugged me and told me that they loved me. I love them too. From that experience has come several more meetings with my rock star bishop. (I hope that's not considered sacrilegious...he's just that awesome!) Meetings about me...about my triumphs and my failures. About my family and their love. About what I've learned from my experience and how I've grown and about how much I love and miss motherhood on a daily basis, but how it's refined my spirit. He asked me to share my story with my ward at a fireside. Yikes. Not sure if I'm completely ready for it, but the fact that he even asked humbles, terrifies, and sort of relieves me. It's definitely an opportunity to be even more blessed...and I have two months to prepare. Whoa...again.

So, I want to remember this time...this happy summer with my family...my husband, my kids, my mom, my brothers, my sisters and my sweet in-laws. This is an amazing time in my life...and I guess that means I will be back soon. :)

For My Children

2010-04-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Doug and I spent the evening with Jenn in Logan. It's been 22 days since she's been home and we're all feeling it. So with tender hearts...a few tears...long hugs... lots of smooches...and Oreo cream ice cream from Coldstone...we're holding our breath till Friday...

Tomorrow is Casey's 15th birthday! Doug can hardly believe he has a kid that old and I have to say...even coming into his life so late in the game...I can hardly believe it myself. We're so proud of him! We love him so dearly and cannot wait to see all the wonders this year will hold for him. High school, drivers ed, facial hair... (eeewww!)

We love our kids!

Tonight as per tradition, we made our way over to Borders Books to check out their latest and greatest in literature. Jenn and I usually pick two or three books to read, find a comfy chair in a quiet spot and sit down to read together. Tonight, Dad was with us...and although he was thoroughly enjoying himself...reading the likes of "Splat the Cat" wasn't high on his list of priorities. We sent him off to find something more to his liking (he found a three foot thick book about the Battle of the Bulge!) and we went in search of three new favorites....well at least two new ones. The first was a kids book about gross things...stuff like "what a fly does to your food when it lands on it". (I don't think Jenn will ever eat another piece of food that a fly's been on and I can't say that I blame her!) It was an utterly fascinating yet completely disgusting book. Needless to say, we got a kick out of it and had a few good laughs. The second book was about a dog named Walter who farts alot. He ends up almost being sent away for his over abundant flatulence...but then becomes the family hero, when a fart that he's been trying desperately to keep in...foils the plot of two would be burglars. It had some funny moments but after reading it, I couldn't get past the idea that we'd just read a book about a farting dog. Huh? Our third book was one of my favorites..."Oh the places you'll go", by Dr. Suess. Jenn and I took turns reading each page out loud and I dang near burt into tears like 5 times. Need a good read for life inspiration? It's definitely in my top five! While we read I could feel that Jenn was getting it's message. If, you've never read it...I've got it posted below. Sorry for the lengthiness of the post...but it's definitely worth the read.

So...for my kids... "Oh the places you'll go!"

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Soul and Substance

2010-03-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was in a funk...

Every time I logged onto blogspot, I felt the need to regurgitate negativity. I couldn't help it...

I'd start a post and couldn't finish it...I wanted to unload about everything...problems with Casey, problems with Casey's mom, problems that Jennah was having in her home, problems at work, problems with the world...just a bunch of garbage... and that's not what my life is. Remember the adage "If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all"? Well there you go...

I just kept my mouth shut and waited for the funk to disappear...

It's funny where you find inspiration. Wait...I take that back. I find inspiration in many things...I just didn't expect to find it in a Tim Burton movie. Don't get me wrong...Mr. Burton and I are simpatico. I love his movies...and as you can see from my picture, I have a new favorite.

Disney's animated version of "Alice in Wonderland" was my favorite movie as a kid. Forget Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and their Princes! When I first heard that Tim Burton was doing a re-make of it, I was tickled pink...until I saw the picture of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. I took one look at it and thought, "What is this weirdness"? I really like Johnny Depp too, so I was double bummed.

I went to see the movie and was surprised to find that it was more like Lewis Carroll's version of the book, rather than Disney's animated version (with a Tim Burton twist)...and I really liked it! I loved the characters...especially Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter...I sat there in a virtually empty theater...unknowingly gathering inspiration that would pull me from the funk...

Alice and I have a lot in common and maybe that's why I like her so much... A girl, trying to escape what's happening in her life, falls down a hole...and discovers who she truly is. She goes to a dark place, is laughed at and ridiculed, she makes a few "mad" friends, puts on her armor and slays the enemy. Then...goes back to her life, braver than she was before to find happiness...

There's a sign in my living room that sits atop my TV...the focal point of the room. It was given to me by my mom in 2004...a really bad year. If you're in my living room, you can't miss it...and you can't miss it for a reason. Almost everyone whose been in our home has seen it and commented on it...not on it's loveliness or beauty...it's piece of distressed wood painted black...but they comment on what it says... "You cannot have the treasure until you have fought the giant"

It's a saying that means an awful lot to me. You can ask either of my children at any given time, what the sign on the top of our television says, and although they may not be able to quote it verbatim...they'll tell you.

Maybe someday I'll add another sign to go beside it..."I haven't lost my muchness, so off with your head!" Not quite as eloquent, but truer words were never spoken...if I do say so myself. ;)

Inadequate...

2010-03-16T16:18:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling it...my schedule has gotten a lot busier lately and although I'm enjoying life at this pace, I've also noticed how inadequate I'm feeling. I love my calling at church and I feel like I'm becoming more at ease with the girls every week. (that sounds kind of odd - it's just that these girls suddenly have a whole new leadership and it sort of throws them off their game...it's taken them awhile to warm up to us...) However, at last night's activity, I felt like a chicken with my head cut off. Not that I was busy, but more like I was trying too hard to make sure that I was connecting with everyone, including the other women in the presidency. I don't know why, but there are times that I feel like a complete outsider and totally inadequate. No one really seems to know me.

Doug has scouts the same night that I have YW, so last night he and my nephew Gavin popped in to say hi. After he left, some of the girls and even a few of the leaders asked me if Gavin was my son. Huh? I wasn't offended or anything, but it made me realize how little they must know me. I listen as the other women talk about one anothers kids...they all know them by name, they all have stories to share about their kids playing with each other...and all but one of them couldn't say for certain that Gavin wasn't my son...

It wasn't that it hurt my feelings or anything...it just made me question myself. Is it me? Is it that I've only lived here for a year? Am I unapproachable? Do I really fit in? Do I put myself out there? It sounds ridiculous...I know, but I just suddenly felt so out of place. I don't know what the reason is and I know that I can be a worry wart for no reason...but I sure hope that it's not me. :/

Jennah's Got Talent...

2010-03-08T09:37:00.000-08:00

Saturday was a special day...it's the day we got ready for talent day...
She did her best and impressed the whole crowd...now everyone knows that her math skills are... WOW!

We had a great day Saturday...I loved, loved, loved it!

It started off with our ward Easter egg hunt...(yeah it's a bit early...but it was the only Saturday that the church was free before Easter!) Jennah got to gorge herself on blueberry donuts (her favorite!) and chocolate milk...plus all the fun of hunting for Easter eggs with her friends! Later in the day we went to the primary talent show, which was a serious blast! I had no idea how talented the kids in our ward are! What a hoot! Jennah couldn't decide which talent she wanted to showcase until Friday night at about 10:00 pm, but she finally settled on math! She is a great student who is great at math! She stood in front of the ward and recited her "12 times tables"... and did perfect! Bravisimo!

After the talent show, we decided to head down to Salt Lake to spend the evening at Temple Square. Doug did some HVAC work for a family in our ward, who in return gave him a gift card for dinner at The Garden restaurant in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. We saw the Joseph Smith movie at the Legacy theater, went on a tour through the conference center and even did the tour at the Beehive House. (haven't been there in 30 years!) We needed to kill some time before the movie, so we decided to do a little research at the family history center...with the help of the sweetest little old lady, Doug found a copy of his dad's boarder crossing paperwork from 1947...when he crossed the Canadian boarder, with his mom at five years old! So cool! After our tour of the conference center, we had dinner on the top floor of the JSMB, which had a spectacular view of the temple and the city...at sunset no less!

As we got in our car to head home, Doug had Jenn and I laughing so hard, we were crying! Jenn says "I love it when Dad is this funny"...me too kiddo! We drug our tired, happy bodies into the house and after giving the pup some sufficient love and attention, we were off to bed. Jenn was sound asleep in 2 minutes and Doug and I weren't too far behind her. We are so proud of Jennah for her bravery at the talent show and so proud of all her accomplishments! She works so hard to do her best! What a beautiful, brilliant kiddo and what a GREAT WEEKEND!!!

50 Things...

2010-03-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

50 Things you've never been asked...

1. What color is your toothbrush?
blue, green and white

2. Name three people who made you smile today:
Doug, Mom and the DJ on 97.1

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
Blow drying my hair

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Posting mail

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Kit Kat

6. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Sadly, yes...but you have to hear the whole story to appreciate it! (I was 14, I was defending my little sister and I didn't throw the first punch...I won, but Kellye and I still rode our bikes home sobbing!)

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Good!

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Spumoni

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Apple Cider

10. Do you like your wallet?
Meh...

11. What was the last thing you ate!
Yogurt

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope...saving for new carpet!

13. The last sporting event you watched?
Doug's b-ball game

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Um... Butter?

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Casey

16. Ever gone camping?
Yes...lotta times!

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
No, but I should!

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
Yes

19. Do you have a tan?
Not at present.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Yes

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Nope

22. What did your last text message say?
My ipod needs to be brought back today...

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
working out, working, picking up my daughter, smooching my husband and going to see "Alice in Wonderland".

24.Do you drink coffee
Nope

25. Look to your left what do you see.
A check scanner, a map of Davis county, my printer and a window.

26. What color is your watch?
I actually don't wear a watch...

28. What is your birthstone?
Emerald

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Depends

30. What is your favorite number?
Don't have one

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Plains Marketing

33. How many states have you lived in?
3- Utah, California and Texas

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
Kids who lie

35. Last song listened to?
Slow Motion by David Gray

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Yes

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
Psha... I wouldn't have a maid even if I could.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Ballet Flats

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
People who get to spend hours upon hours with my daughter.

40. Is anyone jealous of you
Haha! No.

41.Do you love anyone?
Yes...lot's of someones.

42. Do any of your friends have children?
Most of them

43. What do you usually do during the day?
work, play with Bogey, cook, clean...

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Hate's a strong word. I shouldn't hate anyone, but after last Friday and Saturday...I don't think it's hate...let's just say that I have ZERO respect for her.

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yep

46. What color is your car?
Green

47. Do you like cats?
Sure, but not more than I like dogs.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
Always!

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I think when I was like 2?

50. How did you get your worst scar?
Skateboard...riding down my driveway and hit a rock. The skateboard stopped but I didn't. Landed on my knee and ended up in the ER. However...I've been told by various people who've colored and cut my hair, that I have a pretty gnarly scar on the back of my head. I've obviously never seen it, so I can't tell you which one is worse!

My Husband Looks Like Jude Law...

2010-02-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here blogging while simultaneously watching "Sherlock Holmes"...I can't seem to understand Robert Downey Jr's hackneyed British accent... all I've gotten so far are a few funny quips and the notion that my husband bares a slight resemblance to Jude Law.

Here are some other things that have been on my mind...

I love my daughter and her hysterical laugh...she's been gone for 2 hours and I miss her.

I most definitely have the flu...and it sucks.

I feel horrible for the Toone family. I think about them everyday and wonder how they're coping.

Casey is still such a tender heart...I love him and his hugs.

My husband makes asparagus taste sinful...can you say that about your asparagus?

It's time to teach Casey the fine art of brow plucking...guy's and uni- brow's...blech.

My daughter is incredibly smart...for real.

I miss my sister.

My dog snores.

I think I gave my mom the flu...sorry mamma.

I keep laughing at RD jr's lines in this movie...which means I'm finally getting into it...Sunday night multitasking at it's finest.

I can't wait for Spring!

I sure could use some one on one time with my treadmill.

Doug still gives me goosebumps...cheesey...I know, but none the less true.

I'm having issues with a certain girlfriend of a certain someone...who says "I love you" to a boy at 14? Lighten up little girl...you're only 14!

I'm worried about my sweet father-in-law and his ticker...

My family is going sky-diving for my brother's 40th birthday...except for me...because I'm terrified.

I accepted a facebook friend request from this guy...an old friend...Trent...someone I never thought I'd see or speak to again and the first message he sends me is about old gossip. What, really? We haven't spoken since 1996 and you want to talk about the crappy things someone did to me even before then? Ugh...

My boss Brittney is incredibly insightful about human nature...she should have been a psychologist.

It's 2010 and I need to renew my drivers license!

Puppies, Campfire Cake and Scouts...

2010-02-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

Odd title for a post, but I had some pictures I wanted to share...so there you have it!

Last weekend, we took Jenn over to meet Lucy and Schroeder's new puppies...she was enchanted and didn't want to put them down! Lucy was really sweet about letting Jenn hold and hang out with her little babies. So cute!

This week was the "Blue and Gold" 100th birthday banquet for the Boy Scouts. Doug is a den leader in our ward and got to take part in the celebration. His young cubs got their bobcat awards and I got to make a cake! Doug said he wanted to make a "campfire" cake...(the scouts were all making cakes for the "birthday" celebration) So...on-line I went to get some ideas and off to work I got creating...It turned out pretty cute and was fun to make! Sorry some of my pics are a little fuzzy...don't know if it's the camera or the photographer! ;)

I SKI U!

2010-02-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

Doug just called me from the Apex Express chair lift...he and Case are having a blast on the slopes at Solitude. Both my boys are amply impressed with one another's mad skiing/snowboarding skills...(*gasp*)

Today is the boys day out! I love that Doug is so old school...when he went to rent his ski's, the style he requested is so seldom rented, they offered to sell them to him for $25 bucks! Sweet.

Looks like they had a great time!

Lions, Tigers and... Young Women's ...Oh My!

2010-02-02T10:32:00.001-08:00

I was recently called to be in the young women's presidency in our ward and although I'm super excited...I'm a bit terrified! I haven't had anything to do with the YW program since I was in YW! I had/have no idea who the young women in our ward even are! I've subbed in primary a few times and Jennah has friends in our ward and is active in our primary, so I know the "little" kids... I've been teaching Relief Society pretty much since we moved in, so I know all the mom's...just not any of their daughters! I'm totally up for the challenge and know it will be a blast! I wasn't the worlds greatest "young women" during my time...In fact, I think that by the time I was a mia maid, I'd kinda, sorta quit going to YW altogether. Not for any particular reason...other than that I was just being a bratty kid who wanted to go home rather than be at church! But right before I turned 18, I began to realize just how much I'd missed out on!

We had our first big activity tonight combined with the young men. It seemed to go off without a hitch and was actually a lot of fun! (I really had no idea what I was doing, but I was getting out there and trying to talk to the girls..."A" for effort!) I'm looking forward to getting to know them...I truly am. And, I'm looking forward to forging even greater friendships with Angie, Leslie, Britt, Tiff, Sandra and Samantha. My life has taken me all sorts of places, both good and bad and if there's one thing I can offer these young girls, it experience... I hope that I will become their life long friend and someone that they can look up to in a time of need. For the time that I was active in YW, I had some great advisors...one of which I'm still in contact with today. She had a great impact on my life and I love her! I hope to do the same for these girls. Maybe I'll even still be in the presidency when my own little young women turns 12. How sweet that will be...to share young women's with my girl!

So, get ready you girls of the Major Meadows Ward... cause here I come!

Momma loves YOU!

2010-01-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

I wanted to blog about my two awesome kids...how blessed we are to have them in our lives!

Our sweet boy Case, who is so loving and thoughtful...rare is a time when we pass by him...in the hall, in the kitchen, wherever we are... and he doesn't reach out to hug us. Never does he let a moment go...to thank us for anything and everything. When I met Case, he was a shy 10 year old boy who clung to his Dad's side. Now...he's a confident young man, who confides in me the secrets of his heart.

I remember a time when he was too young to sit in the front seat of our car...now he sits in the drivers seat...

Our beautiful girl Jenn, who is so tender and sweet...I watched last weekend as she took all the dollar bills she'd saved from her allowance over the last few weeks and put them into our Christmas charity jar. The jar sits on our kitchen counter so that it's never "out of sight, out of mind". It will be filled throughout the year and come November, all the money will be given to a family in need. The precious part is that she did it when she thought no one was looking. Always looking out for others...always making sure we know she loves us.

I remember the first time I felt her move in my belly...now she can barely fit on my lap...

How we love these kids...words can't even express. They are our absolute treasures...they are our life and our love. Two of the best kids on the planet! We love you kiddos and are always thinking about you!

Just incase you were thinking about breaking into my house...

2010-01-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

Bogey, our 8 month old, 85 lb lab sleeps in our room.

We always knew he would be an indoor dog. Big as he was going to get, he was instantly part of our family and we wanted him to live in the house with us. When he was a pup we had to put him in our bathroom at night to keep him from going potty on the carpet. Slowly, as he became house trained, we'd let him find a place to sleep on our bedroom floor. Now...he starts the night out on the floor but then ends up on our bed. (little stinker) I don't mind if he sleeps on the bed, as long as it's at the foot of the bed...but picture this...an almost 90 lb, not fat...just huge... dog sleeping on your bed. He's almost twice the weight of Jennah and is taller than her, end to end when he's laying down. He takes up the whole back seat of our car and his paw is as big as the palm of my hand. He's a monster! but...a sweet monster. No matter what we do, no matter how many times we kick him off, at some point while we are asleep, he will jump up on our bed and sack out.

Out of "dog training" habit, we sleep with our bedroom door shut...once he was potty trained and we could let him out of the bathroom at night, we'd shut our bedroom door to keep him from getting into mischief in other parts of the house while we were sleeping. When the kids are here, we leave the door open and Bogey will take turns going to each room, sleeping next to the kids beds.

Last night, we shut the door and went to bed like normal. Around 1:00 am I woke up to him barking. It took Doug all of two seconds to tell him to be quiet and before I knew it, I was back to sleep. He barked again probably half an hour later...this time when Doug told him to be quiet, he meant business and Bogey new it. The third time he barked was at 3:00am. I rolled over and asked Doug to open the bedroom door and let Bogey go investigate whatever he was barking at. I knew everything was ok...it wasn't a "panic" kind of bark, but I was too tired to try and figure out what kind of bark it was. So Doug opened the door and Bogey went out maybe mid hall and came back to my side of the bed. He rests his head on the mattress near my face. Tired or not, I realized that going back to sleep wasn't an option. I get up and he bolts out the door only half way again...making sure I'm still behind him, then he runs to the back door. I get there behind him and flip on the back light. Nothing... No cats, no burglars...no nothing. I open the door just enough to let him decide whether or not he wants to brave the cold to investigate. He scrambles through the small opening going full speed, gets to the middle of the yard where he promptly squats to...poop. Woopsy.

He did his business and came back in, tail wagging. I climb back into bed and inform Doug that it had been a "potty bark". I snuggled in next to him, while Boge gets cozy on the floor and we all fall back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later, this time wedged in next to Doug. As usual, Boge had climbed up onto the bed and this time was right next to me, sleeping soundly. I carefully slid out of bed, careful not to disturb either of my sleeping monsters and decided to snap a photo. One click of the flash woke Boge up...he stared at me curiously for a second, then scooted in closer to Doug. Sweet, spoiled dog... we love you.

Life and Death

2010-01-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

In a few short days it will have been 6 years since my Dad passed away. There's a specific type of pain associated with death. It's the heartache that comes when you remember that a particular person is no longer physically there. Having someone you love so dearly...just not be there anymore is difficult and death is difficult, but it is divine as well. He was relatively young...It didn't feel like an old person had died at all. Not like it felt when my grandparents died. All the dreams I had of him for the first year after he was gone were of him as a younger man, maybe in his early thirties. In my dreams he was always wearing some ridiculous 70's-ish style of clothing...the polyester suits with printed shirts that had huge collars and pearl snap buttons... I think it's because I felt like he was too young to die. One of the things that hit me the hardest after his passing was seeing his things laying about my parents house. His shoes where he'd taken them off the night before...his glasses and his watch. His coat draped over the kitchen chair. A man not knowing that those few hours were his last and that he'd never need that coat, those shoes, the watch and his glasses... ever again. It haunted me. How could his stuff be here and him be gone? How could someone so full of life, be so sick and die? It wasn't even like a hospital death...it was so fast and unexpected.

I don't know that I was ever afraid to die...more like I was afraid of how I'd die and even then, it was a fear that was manageable. Manageable until that day...doctors running about me in an effort to get my heart to slow down. Something about that moment changed my life...first for the worse and then for the better. I've said this before...two summers ago, was the hardest time in my life. Harder than anything I've ever been through. Not that specific day in and of itself, but the uncertainty that seemed to be my constant companion those few months. Was I on the edge of death that day in the hospital? No, probably not. Was it really that big of deal? Nope it actually wasn't. No code blue, no ICU, no rushing me into surgery...but no answers either. No one that could tell me definitively "why my heart reacted the way it did." The result? I lost trust in my bodies ability to function like it should. I feared that if it had happened once, it would happen again...and when it did happen again, I wouldn't make it through...just like my Dad.

Thank goodness for time. Thank goodness for my husband, children and our families. Thank goodness for good friends and thank goodness for the gospel. I'm not so afraid anymore...my faith and my confidence have been restored. I can only do what I can to take care of my body...good care of it, but I know that hearts fail, cancer strikes, cars crash, accidents happen and disease ravages. I have faith that no matter what happens...it will be ok, because I have a Savior. A Savior who loves me. As cliche as this statement has become, death really isn't the end...I know where my Dad is and I know that I will see him again. For all it's perils and pitfalls, life is truly beautiful and plentiful and just like death...it is divine.

That's MY Song!

2010-01-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard a song that you felt belonged to you? Not necessarily one that describes you...not your anthem...not your favorite song, but a song that you love in a way that makes it your song. It could be a song that radio stations play ad nauseum... or it could be some obscure song, sung by some obscure band.

I'm blogging about this because I was surprised to hear my song played to a national audience in the movie, "The Lovely Bones". I felt excited and oddly, a bit over protective when I heard it. I even looked at Doug sort of incredulously and said "I have this song!" Like "wow, they're playing my song...how dare they!" Yah, I'm dumb. ;)

I started getting my own musical tastes at about 10 years old. I liked alot of different music even then, but I had my heavies too. My first love was Duran Duran...I moved onto Adam Ant and shortly thereafter, thanks to my brother Aaron, I discovered groups like Depeche Mode and The Cure. Aaron was kind of a musical guru for me. His tastes evolved and mine went with his...for the most part. ;) I fell in love with his music... Marc Almond, Nine Inch Nails, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Joy Division, Love and Rockets, Peter Murphy, This mortal Coil, Yaz...etc, etc...

This Mortal Coil sings my song..."Song to the siren." It's a song written by Tim Buckley, who is a far more main stream artist than TMC, but whose version of the song, falls pretty flat. This Mortal Coil is a collection of artists... two of which are Elizabeth Fraser and Robin Guthrie from the Cocteau Twins...(another favorite) They are the voices to the version of "song to the siren" that I love. I was probably 14 the first time I heard it. It was a horrible copy of a copy of a copy on cassette tape. I sat in my room in our house on 10th east listening to it, rewinding it and listening to it again and again. Umm...try not to envision Glenn Close sitting on the floor switching the light on and off while listening to Madam Butterfly. I wasn't that obsessed... ;) For years and years, that crappy tape was the only copy I had and for no particular reason, I loved it. No one in my circle of friends knew this song...it wasn't played on the radio...it was just my song. A really great song on a really overdubbed tape. I kept the tape but after the advent of CD's and a new love for grunge music... I didn't get back to it that often. However, when I got my ipod and my itunes account, it was at the top of my list of songs to down load... but I could never find it!

Finally, sometime last year after a quick search, there it was. HECK YES! I down loaded it that second and found myself playing it over and over again...this time I was switching the lights on and off. Ha-ha...kidding ;)

Now here it is, playing in the part of the movie when Susie meets George Harvey's others victims... Through all these years and for it's legion of fans, (check out "This Mortal Coil - Song to the Siren" on youtube...lots of lovely bones fans just bawling their eyes out!) I'm happy that my song really isn't my song and it never was. I still love it though...you should check it out, you might like it too...:)

And BTW...the movie was good, but not as good as the book...(they never are!) Stanley Tucci was a show stealer...terrific acting that was super creepy.

Terrific TV!

2010-01-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is where I have to admit that Doug and I are American Idol fans...not die hard fans...but we definitely enjoy watching all the good, bad and ugly that Idol has to offer. I was super excited to get home tonight, if only to plant my butt in front of the tv. (after my Wii fit workout of course...which I did along with a half hour on the treadmill...woot, woot.) My brother Tom got his hands (legally...he's got connections... No really!) on copies of the movies, "The Lovely Bones", and "The Time Travelers Wife". I read "The lovely Bones" several years ago and loved it. In fact, I closed the book and wondered if enjoying a book about a murdered little girl was normal! It didn't take me long to find out that I wasn't the only fan. I haven't read time travelers yet, but my sister-in-law says its her favorite and Eric Bana? Can't go wrong there...

I'd actually planned on seeing Lovely Bones on Friday, but thanks to Tom and Beth, it looks like Doug's gotten himself out of a date night. ;) So it's a TV toss up tonight...Idol, Lovely Bones or Time Travelers? Maybe some Idol tonight, some travelers tomorrow and then it's date night from the comfort of our own couch...enjoying the same premier that everyone else is, only with better popcorn...triple woot. No spoiler alert here, but Tom says that Stanley Tucci did an amazing job as the uber creepy George Harvey. Eeeeeee! Can't wait for all three!

P.S.
Speaking of TV, if you happen to be like us and you haven't seen a commercial in it's entirety since the advent of DVR's...I've got one for you to check out.
While you're on perma fast forward, if you happen to see even a millisecond of a "Progresso Soup" soup commercial, STOP and watch it. If it's the new weight watchers one with the husband leaning up against a wall, you won't be disappointed. So, super funny...Enjoy it!

Happy 20th Simpsons!

2010-01-07T09:02:00.001-08:00

I love the Simpsons and I love that they've made it 20 years!

Here are some of my favorites...

Homer...

Ralph Wiggum...

"Bart of Darkness", "Hurricane Neddy", "Bart's Comet"...

Pretty much any Halloween episode...

"Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about"...

Just a sample favorite...

Homer:
Mmm...sixty four slices of American cheese.
[Takes the stack to the table and sits down]
Sixty four...[eats it]
Sixty three...[eats it]

[Next morning]
Two...[eats it really slowly]
One...[eats it]

[Marge walks in]
Marge: [incredulous] Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...

Happy 20th Anniversary Simpsons!

Can't Live Without...

2010-01-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

I saw this on my friend Amanda's blog and thought it was kinda cool - so I am making a list of my own!

The Scenario:

"You wake up in the middle of the night...the house is quiet and still. You're just about to roll over and fall back to sleep when you notice the faint smell of smoke. Not a powerful smell, but rather like a piece of toast burning in the toaster. It doesn't take long to realize that your house is on fire and it cannot not be saved. You wake your family and get them to safety. You then have 10 minutes to grab whatever you can before your home is reduced to a pile of smoking rubble. What of each item listed, would you grab?"

Keepsake: A needle point project Jennah made for me that says "Mom" encircled by a heart.

Articles of clothing: My temple clothes

Music: The Cure's "Disintegration"

Furniture: Our bed

Picture: Our first picture as a family that's framed and hanging in our entry way.

Family Heirloom: Pictures of my Dad

Appliance: I'm not particularly attached to any of my appliances, so I'd have to say, my washer? It's a front loader that was a little spendy...I'd hate to see it burn to the ground.

Book: My triple

Movie: Jane Eyre

Game: Mario Bros Wii

Random item: Probably one of my favorite knick-knack items in the house...some home decor thing, like my twigs or something.

Hygienic item: My toothbrush. I couldn't go too long without having clean teeth!

Shoes: My avia running shoes

Item for your Husband: The flag I just got him for Christmas

Item for your Child(ren): For Jenn, her American Girl doll, for Case, his guitar.

That was harder than I thought, but kinda fun to find out what I treasure. :p

Check Ya Later 2009...

2009-12-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

I think it's funny how I can go for weeks and not have anything to blog about and then I post one blog that turns into a novel. Maybe I ought to learn how to spread this out a bit. ;) I've been going back and forth with this post for days now! I was reading my sisters blog this morning and as usual, her writing inspires my writing, so I'm going to get this post finished!

We had a great Christmas! We had both kids here, which we were extremely grateful for, for more than one reason! Over the last few years, our kids have met the challenges that seem to accompany getting older. As Case has entered his teenage years, we've all felt the growing pains. Not that he is a pain...on the contrary, he is so sweet. We've stepped up to the challenge of raising our two children in two separate homes...and it seems to have been especially difficult this year. Case is growing more independent (he's 14 going on 25) and I think I mentioned in an earlier post that his friends have become very important to him. Doug and I both know that this is a child's right of passage, but we've also made it clear that family is what's most important and that in our house, family comes first...always. Not just Doug, Jennah and I, but his mom and brother as well. Needless to say, we've hit a few bumps in the road with this philosophy. I'm sure any/every family goes through this while raising a teenager, but then add "divorced" parents, two separate households and a group of people who are both trying to raise the same kid, but who are at odds with one another to the mix... and it's a holocaust. The results can be pretty devastating to everyone involved. Casey would virtually disappear. No visits, no phone calls no nothing. Doug would call, text, go to his house and knock on the door...still nothing. We were stuck. I'd lay here next to Doug and watch him while he'd stare at the ceiling, completely lost. I'd ask what he was thinking even though I already knew... his mind was racing, his heart breaking and the "fix it" part of his brain was working overtime to come up with the answers. We can't control what other people say about us...we can only try to repair the damage that is done by their words...whatever they may be. These are the moments when I've learned that poison can come from a persons mouth just as easily as it comes from a bottle. My husband is not capable of sitting back and just watching anything happen. This is true for both the good and the bad situations in life. You've got a game of volleyball, basketball, or any sport going on and he's in. I'm cooking dinner in the kitchen...he's stirring, flipping, and spicing things up right along with me. The snow is falling and he's out shoveling our driveway and the neighbors drive way...and not just the neighbors around us. He actually gets in the car and drives to the homes of those who he knows are in need. So when it comes to his son...well...put simply, he was not going to just sit around and wait for Case to come around. I'm grateful that he's this kind of man and was especially grateful when both he and Casey walked in our front door last week. After a long night of talking, crying, laughing and listening, the road looked clear ahead of us. We got to the bottom of all the confusion and mis-understandings and were finally able to wrap our arms around each other...all of us. We celebrated a sort of hasty Christmas season with our beloved kiddos. Our families and Santa were very generous indeed. (Funny how he always knows just what to get.) We were blessed to have the means to pass some of that generosity onto others and were especially blessed just being together. Having Jennah for the entire holiday... both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was a delight! I had looked forward to it the entire year and it was wonderful! I had to work on Wednesday and Thursday, but she got to come to work with me! Brittany (my boss) had her fill out her own time card and then "put her straight to work". She folded invoices, put them into envelopes and them ran them through the postage machine. It wasn't all work though...Brittany's daughter, Madisen got to come to work too and she showed Jenn how the copy machine worked... all I could hear were squeals of laughter coming from that part of the office as Jenn and Madisen copied their hands and cheeks. Madisen also brought along a box of crafts for she and Jennah to create together. At the end of the day, Jennah "clocked" out and got paid $10 bucks! Thanks Britt and Madisen for all the fun!

We had our traditional Christmas events with family and friends... Christmas Eve spent at our house with lots of fun, food and festivities...Christmas morning was spent opening gifts which was especially fun with Grandma Shea there! Just one of the awesome perks that come with Grandma living downstairs! The kids came in and woke us up about 7:30 am. I had them sit on our bed with Doug while I started the fire, turned on the tree lights and Christmas music and made them a cup each of hot chocolate. After presents, we enjoyed a big breakfast and spent the afternoon at Uncle Don and Aunt Linda's. We loved having Grandma and Grandpa Low here for Christmas and especially enjoyed having them visit on Christmas night. It was a perfect way to end the holiday. The rest of our week was spent playing, playing, playing! Sledding, movies, barbies, cooking, baking and Super Mario Bros on the Wii!

We took Jenn back to her Dad's on Monday, where she got to celebrate Christmas all over again with her family there! :) We then rang in the New Year with Casey at Tom and Bethany's house, playing games and having lots of fun! We sealed it with a kiss and a prayer for good things to come.

Here's some of our family's highlights from 2009...

We moved into a great house with great neighbors! (don't miss the old house, but we do miss the old neighbors!)

Doug was promoted at work and is now the 4th highest ranking employee at intermountain...woo hoo!

Jennah's a math wiz and is passing off her times tables at the speed of light! All she has left are her "times twelves". Yay!

Casey was made captain of his soccer team...no surprises there...he's an incredible soccer player!

Doug quit smoking!

I got a job that I really like!

Jennah and I finished our first chapter book together last summer!

We bought a puppy...our cute little bogester who we love and adore!

Casey changed schools and got a girlfriend!

Our wild and crazy river rafting trip last Summer!

Doug and I were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple on September 19th!

And...we're all healthy!

We hope that 2010 will be even better for our family and yours! Happy New Year!

God Speed Little Doodle...

2009-12-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

We lost a little member of our family last week...Casey's Guinea pig, Beaver died last Wednesday...

He was almost 5 years old, which I think is a pretty good life span for a Guinea pig! We bought him as a birthday present for Case in 2005. I don't think Beaver knew what to think of us, or of his new digs when we first brought him home. You could barely run your finger across his back and he'd scamper away as fast as he could! After a few weeks though, he got to know us and would chirp every time he heard Doug's keys jingle! He had the sweetest little face and the fatest belly of any Guinea pig we'd ever seen! He loved, loved, loved carrots and we'd grow them in our garden every year especially for him. Farewell little pig... we love you!

A girl and her dog...

2009-12-14T13:40:00.001-08:00

"SIT"

"SHAKE"

"LAY DOWN"

"GOOD DOG!" :)

Tis The Season?

2009-12-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

"Christmas time is here...happiness and cheer"...remember that song from Charlie Brown's Christmas? I needed a bit of that before today. It's not that I was feeling blue... it's just that I've had so much on my mind for so long now, and here Thanksgiving's come and gone and we're into the Christmas season. How did that happen so fast? I definitely welcome it! I love this time of year for so many reasons...but I found myself needing a little reminder of why.

For a die hard Christmas gal, I was finding it difficult to get into the Christmas spirit...the decorations are up, the snow is falling, there are Christmas tunes on just about every radio station, tree's in windows, lights on houses and shoppers galore...so what's up with me? Where's the usual excitement that comes with this season? I had no idea...until today.

I sat quietly in sacrament meeting next to Doug. I was thinking about the sunbeam class that I was about to teach...my mom's class. They love her and were sure to be disappointed by her absence (mom's in sunny Florida visiting Kell, Jordan and the boys...) Our first sacrament hymn was a Christmas song - the first that I've sung this year...after singing, I'm still not feeling particularly Christmasy...still I sit quietly, contemplating the bombardment of eight 3 year olds. As the meeting goes on, many friends and ward members are bearing their testimonies and giving thanks for this wonderful season. My thoughts switch from the sunbeams to last Christmas...it was the first Christmas that I put true effort into knowing the Savior. I'd received an email from a friend, it was a video featuring pictures from Mark Mabry's book, "Reflections of Christ." It was absolutely beautiful. The pictures were stunning in their effect. The desire to know the Savior was powerful and the images so touched my heart, that Doug went out and purchased the book for me. I recalled sitting in the living room at our old house, pouring over the collection of pictures. The images moved me to tears, especially the one below...it is my favorite. It's of John the Baptist and the Savior embracing after the Savior's baptism. The man depicting the Savior has a wide and very genuine smile on his face...it's beautiful. (sorry it's so small - it's hard to find a bigger one because of copyright laws...it's a great picture though!)

Finding Christ in Christmas last year made our holiday season even that much better. I have wonderful, happy and warm memories of many, many Christmas's. My parents made each of them special in their own way. In fact, when I'm feeling blue, Christmas memories are the ones I focus on to sort of pull myself out of my mood. I don't think about the presents or Santa and I never have. Of course that was a great part of Christmas, but I think about the little things...the little traditions my family had. All of us kids sleeping in the same bedroom on Christmas Eve, having to eat an orange before we could go out to see what Santa brought us, my Dad telling us every single year that we should "go back to bed...Santa didn't come." Christmas Eve parties at my grandma and grandpa Shea's...their home and the warm feeling that resided there. My parents funky old Christmas tree decorations and the fully worn out Christmas album that was played and over played all season long... Now Doug and I are making our own traditions...creating a wonderfully magical time of year for our kids, while more importantly, teaching them what it's truly all about.

I finished sacrament meeting fully enveloped in the spirit of the season...complete with singing the closing hymn, "Oh Come all Ye Faithful". I sit here now, watching the snow fall while listening to Sarah McLachlan sing "Silent Night". This weekend our family will be busy making treats for all our wonderful friends and neighbors. We will be hosting our family Christmas Eve party this year and cannot wait for the fun and excitement to begin! My in-laws will be in town and we've got family and friends coming over to join in the fun and celebration. What a wonderful time of year! What a wonderful reason to celebrate! Merry Christmas!

Being Thankful...

2009-11-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Here is my last week of sharing some the specific things I am thankful for...I have enjoyed the process of recognizing the things in life that I sometimes take for granted! I'm thankful for so many things and am going to make it a point to find something to be thankful for each day.

So, to begin again where I left off...

Sunday- I was thankful for prayer. It doesn't matter who your are or what religion you practice...prayer is a blessing. Knowing that I can go to my knees and pray to a loving Heavenly Father gives me an indescribable sense of peace. I need prayer...it's as simple as that and I'm so grateful for the freedom of praying when, where and how I need to, at any given time or place.

Monday- I was grateful for (but also cursing) modern medicine. I have a love/hate relationship with Cat scans and Monday brought the third and last of my CT scan-o-rama. What started out as possibly a bad appendix, that then evolved into a possibility of Lymphoma... has now resolved itself to being...nothing. Nothing is good! The "dense concentration of unusually large/swollen abdominal lymph nodes" are back to their normal size. Yay!!! I'm truly grateful for this technology, for the compassionate techs who educate themselves in administering them and to the doctors who know how to read them. Specifically my doctor...I think I mentioned him earlier. ;) Though the barium gives me a seriously kickin headache and the dye makes me feel like someone set me on fire...I'm grateful that such technology is available for our use. Imagine being able to see a picture of your spleen? It's crazy!

Tuesday- I was simply grateful for the telephone. It is the secondary means of the greatly valued and highly anticipated communication with my beloved daughter twice a week...hearing her little voice is the highlight of every Monday and Thursday. It's a way to keep my little sister and her family close, though they are living 3000 miles away. It's the tool I use to hear my sweet husbands voice, the voice of calm and reason and love... sometimes 5 times a day. It's the happy little jolt I get when my sweet stepson decides to call and tell me good morning on his way to school...for these reasons and so many more...gotta love the phone.

Wednesday- I was grateful for music. Music is big with my family..we each share a great appreciation for it. From Dad and Mom, all the way down to Rick... We love music. It does wonders for my mood, it helps ramp up my workouts, it calms me down in times of worry, it gives me goosebumps, it gives me energy, it makes me feel nostalgic and it even makes me cry. My latest purchase was OneRepublic's new CD "Waking Up"...so far, I dig it! Right now, I'm especially grateful for Christmas music. I'm a huge fan of the classics...Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, Bing Crosby, Burl Ives, etc... My absolute favorite Christmas album though is Sarah McLachlan's "Wintersong". Take a listen...you'll love it!

Thursday- It's finally Turkey Day! Hoorah! So much to be thankful for on this day...grateful for my family, my friends, my home, for love and friendship. Grateful for laughter, and good food. Grateful for reflection and memory. Grateful for my freedom and for this land that we live in. Grateful for my Father in Heaven and Savior who willingly provide all that I have and all that I am. Grateful for heat and comfort. Grateful for anticipation of good things to come. Grateful for my trials...for the legacy of knowledge those trials will leave my children, Grateful for the relationships those trials cultivated and grateful for the faith those trials have given me. Grateful for health and strength and for the health and strength of my loved ones. I'm grateful for my life and for the means to express it! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Photo Story

2009-11-23T20:01:00.001-08:00

My darling friend Jen tagged me.
The mission:
Open your first photo folder.
Choose the tenth picture.
Tell the story of the picture.

This tree stands in Red Pine Canyon in Utah's beautiful Unita mountains. My in-laws, who are snowbirds, live in Kamas during the Summer just below the road that leads to Red Pine. Every summer, we try and spend as much time as we can up at the property. It's Doug's second home and a place we absolutely love. One afternoon, two summer's ago, we all climbed on the 4 wheelers and headed up Red Pine. There's a point on the trail where you need to park the 4 wheelers and start hiking...not far up the trail stands dozens of towering quaking aspens...on my first ever hike up the canyon, I noticed Casey's name scrawled onto one of the giant quakies... it was an engraving Doug had made several years ago when Case was younger. Grandpa Low suggested that we add his other grandkids to some of the surrounding trees. (if this bothers any of you tree huggers...go ahead and quit reading, cause I don't feel bad about it! ;) So, we added Jennah, Gabrielle and Tyler...mom and dad Low's beloved grandkids. Every year when we head back up Red Pine, we take time to find the kids trees and snap a photo. Someday when the kids are older and they bring their kids up to Kamas to see us, they can hop on the 4 wheelers, head up Red Pine and show their kids their names...carved into the tree's from several years before.

That's my story and I'm stickin to it! ;)

I tag:
Kellye
Lindsey
Lyndi
Sally
Tom
Sarah
Brittney
Sarah
Jenn
Jess

Thankful Friday, Saturday, Sunday, etc...etc...

2009-11-22T10:25:00.000-08:00

I didn't stop being thankful...my Internet stopped working! Not sure why just yet, but I'm coming to you from a pirated signal...(bwah-ha-ha-ha) Hopefully Qwest will figure out what the dealio is and I can get back to blogging. I did still find time to be thankful for some specific things, but since there are so many days to account for...I'll make it brief. Just know that I'm extremely grateful for all of the following things.

Friday- I was thankful for my upbringing. Jennah and I went with Tom, Beth and Charlie to see "A Christmas Carol", a story that has been a favorite of mine since childhood. In fact, Scrooge was a yearly tradition at our house. Watching it gave me that warm nostalgic feeling...remembering the great times I spent as a kid in my parents home and being thankful to them for my happy childhood...with all it's ups and downs, my mom and dad made it wonderful.

Saturday- I was thankful for the changing seasons. We got our first bit of winter on Saturday with the snow storm. Eeeeee!! I loved it! It was a slanting blizzard at our house!! Jenn and I watched the winter white accumulate on the back lawn while we made white chicken chili...mmm...mmm...good. I love that we have the changing seasons! Each one brings a happy renewal to life!

Sunday- I was thankful for my sweet stepson Casey. What a kid he is! He is growing up so fast, I can hardly believe that he will soon be driving! He has the best sense of humor and a tender little heart. He got to stay an extra night with us on Sunday, so we took him home to get some stuff for school the next morning and for reasons I won't divulge here...he was cracking us up bad! Sadly, his grandpa on his mom's side recently had a heart attack (the reason for the extra night with us) and his tender little heart for his grandpa was so sweet to see. I love him so much and am so proud to be his step mom! It was fun to get to wake him up for school, make sure that he had some breakfast and drive him to school before I was off to work. I miss those types of things and that "normal" routine of motherhood, but am grateful to experience it once in awhile.

Monday- I was grateful for my friends. We had an early Thanksgiving dinner with our friends Chris, Jess, Kyle, Jill and all of their kids on Monday night. We had this same kind of dinner last year and decided that it was so much fun, we do it again this year. What a spread! It was Thanksgiving and then some! I love to hang out with them and I so enjoy the friendship that we share! They have been there for some very important events in our lives and we love them!

Tuesday- I was grateful for my Mom. If you don't know my mom...I feel bad for you, cause you're missin out! I admire her so much! She's been my advocate, my cheerleader, my voice of reason and my best friend throughout my life. She recently asked me if I'd go to Costco for her, because she said "shopping there is too intimidating". I jokingly told her that she needed to "get brave" (except I didn't use those words...) because I can't imagine her being intimidated by anything! She's faced much more in her lifetime than anyone I know and she's done it all with grace and humility. I love you mom!

Wednesday- I was grateful for my doctor. I have an awesome doctor! Since my weird Tachycardia episode and the swollen lymph nodes in my abdomen episode...I've gotten to know my doctor quite well. He's a great doc with a fabulous bedside manner. He listens to me, he spends time explaining things, he doesn't talk down to me, nor does he talk over my head. He is humble, knowledgeable and kind. Everything a doctor should be. Plus he knows EVERYTHING about me and he doesn't judge me or look down on me. We work together to solve the issues that my body has from time to time and I'm thankful to have such a great doctor on my side!

Thursday- I was grateful for my car. My office building isn't in a very populated part of town...kind of out among other businesses on Redwood Road, but I drive into an old part of Salt Lake to go to the post office everyday. I see numerous people sitting on the side walk, waiting for a bus. I always feel bad for them, especially in bad weather. I know that not having "your own" transportation isn't something that everyone can control. Cars cost money and sometimes, money that you have to spend on a car, has to go toward more important things, like housing, food, clothes, etc...I'm grateful to have my car and to be able to afford it, along with all of the other necessities in life.

Friday- I was grateful for my education. I can't say much about why I was grateful for it...but I am grateful to be able to read, write, spell and punctuate. My sweet Grandma Shea instilled in me the value of speech etiquette and I'm grateful to at least know that a period goes at the end of a sentence. <--- see...like that! :)

Saturday- I was grateful for a husband that can cook...and I'm talk'n COOK! His cooking lays mine to waste and I'm not ashamed to say it! On Saturday Doug made a feast of tempura fried vegetables and shrimp. Ahhhh...yum! He is so talented in the kitchen and I'm grateful to be one of those gal's who doesn't have to cook all the time!

Thanksgiving's almost here! Yay!!!

Thankful Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday...

2009-11-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

I promise I'm not being a "thankful" slacker...things have been busy at our house since Monday - but I did still remember to think of some specific things to be thankful for on all three days...

Tuesday: I was thankful for my daughter. I went to Hyrum to spend the evening with her and as usual, we had a great time! I guess I don't need to tell you how much I love to spend time with both my kids and how every hour is so sweet and special...but I'm going to anyway! ;) On Tuesday, Jenn got to choose where we ate so she chose one of her favorites...Panda Express. After dinner we went over to the Borders Book store. We both ordered a peppermint hot chocolate and sat on the floor in the children's section to read some books. She snuggled up next to me and we laughed while we read one of our new favorite's called "Splat the Cat". I'm so grateful to be her mom and I'm grateful for the love that she brings to my life. She is an amazing little girl and I'm so proud of her...I don't know what I'd do without her in my life! I love you Jenn!

Wednesday: I was grateful for my mother and father in-law...I have the best! My friend Brittany was telling me hysterical stories about her in-laws and although they were funny and although I know she loves her in-laws...even with all their quirks, listening to her made me think about how grateful I am for mine and how much I love them. There is nothing they wouldn't do for us if we needed it, and plenty they have done when we have. They absolutely love my kids...something I'm especially grateful for since Jennah obviously isn't their biological grandchild. It matters not to them and they love her as they love their others. They are sweet and wise and I truly enjoy spending time with them. I love you Brian and Sandi!

Thursday: I was grateful for my job and the great people who work there...especially Brittany! I haven't had a job that I've enjoyed so much in a long time. It isn't perfect for sure, but what job is? My days go by quickly because I enjoy what I do and enjoy Brittany's hilarious sense of humor. I am obviously grateful for the income and to not be part of that 10 percent who's standing in the unemployment line...but even more than that, I'm grateful to work. To have an additional purpose and to be responsible for more than just cleaning bathtubs and toilets. Not that I begrudge that job either...it is important!! I'm grateful to be an able body employee and to actually enjoy what I do...go Utah LP!

Thankful Monday

2009-11-09T22:48:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my health!

I've been fighting off some kind of cold for a few days and was being a pretty big boob about it last night.

I called Doug and told him how much my arm and shoulder hurt and that I was worried that I had some kind of weird infection. My sweet husband brought me back to sanity with his calming voice of reason. I hung up the phone...still a little concerned that the pain I was feeling was something other than just a simple muscle ache. I happened to be preparing dinner for a woman in our ward who's fighting breast cancer. I loaded all the food onto a cookie sheet as a make shift tray and headed out the door to her home.

I knocked on the door...no one answered.

I rang the bell...still no answer.

The lights were on...?

Finally through the window, I see a shadowy figure shuffling toward me. Carol opens the door and I am immediately struck by her appearance. She is very pale and aside from a tiny bit of peach fuzz like hair, she is completely bald. She's got a terry cloth robe draped over her skin and bones body. She smiles and apologizes for taking so long to answer the door. I'm thinking..."how did you even get to the door?" I feel guilty realizing that my knocking must have made her have to get out of bed. She explains that her daughter who is normally the one to open the door, and sort of take care of things, was sick in the bathroom. I feel my heart wrench a little more. What a baby I am...worried about a small shoulder ache and here is this woman fighting for her life.

Carol is gracious and delightful. I visit with her for a moment and offer to do some light house keeping before I go. I am reminded of my own mom's battle with this insidious disease. I remember seeing her lose her hair, seeing her suffer through chemotherapy, seeing her sicker than she's ever been. I also remember seeing her get better, seeing her hair come back...her life come back. I hope that Carol and her family will get to see the same thing. I'm thankful for my health!

See ya tomorrow. ;)

Thankful Sunday

2009-11-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and today I'm thankful for the Savior. In sacrament meeting we had the pleasure of listening to a couple from our ward talk about faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. The sister who was speaking shared a thought that I loved...she is a teacher in a junior high...she has a student that she struggles with. He doesn't always behave the way he should, doesn't turn in his work, etc, etc...

While teaching last week, some of her students who were obviously aware that this student is a problem kid, asked her point blank whether or not she loved him even though he was a hard kid. She likened that experience to the Saviors love for us. Even though we can be "hard kids", He still loves us...loves us no matter what. But how do we show the Savior that we love Him? Does He know that we love Him? It's something that I never used to think about, but I think about it alot now.

I love this time of year...I love everything about the holidays...family, food, snow, music, tree's, lights and even the presents! But truly more than anything, I love to celebrate the birth of our Savior. I know that sounds like something I should say...not something that I really mean...but I do mean it. I love that Christmas is one of two times in the year that most of the world focuses on Christ. Our family starts the season with the Savior and we end it with Him. I want Him to know that I love Him and I hope that I'm living my life worthy of His great sacrifice for me...for all of us.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

I'll be thankful again tomorrow...see ya then. ;)

Thankful Saturday

2009-11-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

What a mess! Sweeping, mopping, scrubbing...we've been so busy...my house was beginning to resemble a pig pen! It usually takes me the better part of an entire day to clean our little abode...so when I woke up today, the fresh determination to get it started, quickly waned as I walked room to room surveying the past weeks damage.

I tend to think alot while I clean.

It's personal therapy time for yours truly.

I go into our daughter's cheerfully pink bedroom...I straighten her bookshelf, I fluff the pillows Grandma Shea made her for a much beloved window seat...I dust her nightstand pausing at a picture box she has there, full of pictures of us...I place her bunny on her pillow...bittersweet feelings...how could she not be here? Even after 5 years of not living in the same house with her full time, my heart still doesn't believe it. How I miss this little creature...how I love her!

I head into Case's room. I open his blinds, dust off his desk and computer...I fluff his beanbag chair and put away his laundry...I open his closet...there hangs a few of his 11 year old clothes, the age he was when I met him...the same bittersweet feelings...standing in your child's empty room, missing them, but anticipating the next time they'll be home...How I love this boy!

The bathtubs, the toilets, the floors, the laundry, vacuum, sweep, dust, mop...finally (with the exception of our bedroom) it's done! Our home is clean again...I survey the day's work and am grateful for our home. The place we land, the place we find comfort, togetherness, safety and LOVE. There's no place like home and I'm absolutely grateful for ours...Every brick. Whether empty or full it is home sweet home.

You know...see ya then ;)

Thankful Friday

2009-11-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for laughter. Not just the "ha-ha-ha" courtesy laughs you get and/or give...but the laugh till it hurts, laugh till you cry, laugh till you pee your pants, laugh till you can't breathe... kind of laughter. I love that. I love to laugh...and tonight, I've done plenty of it!

Doug and I don't watch much TV together...He is usually studying and I'm...hmmm...what am I doing at night? Usually the only time we sit down to watch TV is when we're laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep. I can never stay awake long enough to watch an entire episode of whatever is on.

About a year ago my brother Tom told me about a show called "Arrested Development". He, my sister-in-law Bethany, my sister Kellye and brother-in-law Jordan were all fans of the show and would talk about it constantly. It sounded funny, and I'd watched a few episodes, but it just didn't hit me like it hit them...till now...;)

Tom and Beth bought all three seasons on DVD and lent them to us to watch. It took us a month to sit down and do it, but one Sunday when the kids were with their other parents, we sat down and started watching. It's truly hysterical! We watched the first season in about 3 days and are onto the second. Last night's was the best! We've been under the weather the last few days and it was exactly what we needed!

So, I'm thankful for the things that make me laugh...the memories of my childhood with super funny parents and their incredible senses of humor. (food fight!) My husband who can split my sides anywhere...at the dinner table, driving in the car, sitting in sacrament meeting...anywhere. My sweet kiddos and the hysterical way that they laugh...just listening to them laugh make me laugh harder! My uber talented siblings who can imitate anyone and anything...sometimes they're hands down, funnier than who or what they're imitating. The Simpsons... Yeah I said The Simpsons...I know a lot of people think it's stupid, or a bad influence or whatever...I happen to love them. I don't love every episode, but I love the show and Homer is my favorite! Jim Carrey, Jack Black, Ricky Gervais, Jason Bateman, Vince Vaughn...the list goes on and on...I love to laugh and I'm grateful for it!

Some pics of some of my family laughing and being silly...

and...I'll be grateful again tomorrow...see ya then! ;)

Thankful Thursday

2009-11-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today I'm feeling a bit under the weather...I'm cold, I have a headache, and...shhhhh...it's that time of the month...blah.

Today I'm grateful for cozy, warm blankets...a DVR filled with good things to watch, lots and lots of bottled water and the pharmaceutical people who distribute Advil.

Nothing awe inspiring...but think of where I'd be without them...cold, bored, thirsty and in pain. ;)

I'll be thankful again tomorrow...see ya then. ;)

P.S.
I'm hopefully going to be thankful for back rubs in about 3 hours too. Yay!

Thankful Wednesday

2009-11-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my husband...he got hurt on the job today...hurt enough to need a doctor and a tetenus, but not hurt enough to have to go to the ER. (whew!) I worry about him all the time...he's on the tippy top of roofs, squeezed in unbelievably tight places, dangling from ladders and constantly walking through buildings that are under construction...I pray every night that he'll make it home safe to us the next day. Today wasn't a close call by any means, but I'm grateful that he only smashed his finger, and didn't cut it off. I'm grateful for his hard work, his dedication and his love. I'm grateful for his health and his humor and his heart. I love you babe.

I'm going to be thankful again tomorrow...see ya then! :)

Thankful

2009-11-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

Something happened today that gave me an opportunity to take a long look at the blessings in my life. Because of this, I've decided that since it's now November and we will shortly be celebrating Thanksgiving, I want to share something that I am thankful for every day here on my blog...

Today, on my way home from work, I stopped by Target. I had an agenda. I was going to grab some lunch fixin's for Doug and take a look at their selection of outdoor Christmas lights. I walked around the store for a bit putting different things into my cart...bread, lunch meat, soda pop, the usual...

Suddenly I feel a pang of irritation. I'm thinking about getting all of this food home and putting it away. I'm thinking about how my refrigerator really needs to be cleaned out before I put anything in it. Ugh...a sea of leftovers...my least favorite housekeeping chore. Because of this, I'm actually half tempted to put back all the soda pop I just heaved onto the bottom of my cart...it's such a good deal, I can't make myself do it.

What is this I'm feeling? Laziness? No, I've been looking forward to some time on the treadmill all day. If I were feeling lazy, I wouldn't even want to do that. Am I tired? Nope, got a good nights sleep and have had plenty of energy all day. What's up?

I wander over the the longest line I can find, hoping for a few more minutes of thought to myself. Standing in line in front of me is a guy. He's probably 19 or 20. I barely notice him, but I can see in my periphery that he sees me. He looks down at my cart, I look down at my cart. I'm imagining a world where groceries put themselves away and yucky leftovers vanish into thin air after being in the fridge for a week...*sigh*

I see that he is buying a single bottle of Pepsi. I feel bad for him, standing in this horrendously long line for a stinkin bottle of Pepsi. He looks like a normal, average guy. Maybe a bit homely...red-ish hair, freckles... He's clean, he's wearing nice-ish clothes. I look up at the cashier who seems to be struggling with his current shopper. I decide that I'm done thinking and I head over to another line. I'm sure at that moment, I never would have thought that I'd ever see or think about the Pepsi guy again.

I pull out onto Antelope Drive and there's that pang of irritation again. How idiotic am I to have stopped at Target at 5:00? Antelope Drive is packed as it is, not to mention the crowd of commuters trying to make their way home. I pull over into the far right lane, hoping to bypass all the cars wanting to turn left in front of me. The sun is blaring through my windshield...Again, off to my right in the periphery of my vision, I see a guy walking. It is suddenly obvious that he has a prosthetic leg as he severely limps along the sidewalk. As I pull closer, I see a bottle of Pepsi extending from his left hand and I realize that it is the guy who was waiting in line in front of me. A huge wave of emotion washes over me as I watch him struggle down the road. Who is he? Why did he walk all the way to Target for a bottle of Pepsi? I realize that I am crying. I feel horrible for this guy...so horrible in fact, I actually contemplate pulling over and asking him if he wants a ride, but why? Why is watching this random guy walk down the street making me cry? Why do I feel so bad for him? He probably has a great life, with a great family and great friends. Maybe he has a girlfriend. Maybe she works at Target and he walks there to see her everyday...Why do I care?! I don't know...all I know is that for whatever reason I do care and I start praying that this guy does have a great family, great friends and a great life. Something about him was pulling at me like gravity and I wanted to hug him. Not like a husband/boyfriend hug...but like a mom hug. I wanted to turn back the clock so that I could stand behind him again in line and smile at him, instead of just staring aimlessly into my cart at the stupid food that I was pissed about having to put away, while I simultaneously cleaned my fridge. I suck sometimes.

So I sit and stare as he makes his way down the road...hoping that he is living a happy life, while also hoping that he's not really just some jerk face guy whom for some inexplicable reason, I feel uncontrollable pity for. I'm suddenly jolted from my revelry by a car horn. Some woman is trying to turn in front of me and I obviously haven't given her the attention that she wants because by the time I notice her, she is flipping me off and swearing at me with her kid sitting next to her in the front seat. Classy. Maybe I don't suck that bad after all.

I make the rest of the drive home wiping tears off my cheek. I'm thinking about my great life, my great family and my great friends. This is when I decide that I am going to share something specific that I am thankful for each day, with you...

Today, I am thankful for my legs. Legs that walk, run, bend, lift...pretty much whatever I want them to do. Yay legs!

I'll be thankful tomorrow again...see ya then. ;)

Halloween?

2009-11-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

Can I tell you that while I am sitting here blogging, Doug is rubbing my feet! How heavenly is this?! Anyway...not the subject of my post...but hey, it doesn't happen that often so I had to share...Delightful!

What a weird, but good, but weird Halloween. Did we even celebrate? Yesterday, after all was said and done, I realized that it's really the only major holiday that I could probably skip and not be completely bummed out. (maybe just a little bummed out!) I love Halloween…love it, but this year was different. Not good different, not bad different…just different. Our Son Casey is past the age of wanting to trick-or-treat and he’s too young to want to stay home and pass out candy, so it was a Halloween party with friends for him...woot, woot. It was our daughter Jenn's other parents turn to take her trick-or-treating...so she was off with them. That leaves little old us to fend for ourselves. We decided to forgo all of the festivities and spend our Halloween night in Logan. (we had to go up that way anyway to drop Jenn off...) We ended up attending an endowment session at the temple and headed over to Iggy's afterward for a bite to eat. We did have some spooky fun earlier in the week with the trunk-or-treat and on the night before Halloween, our family headed over to the Black Island Farm corn maze. (a fun festivity that I think is fast becoming a family tradition!) They have tons of great stuff to do there and we had a fantastic time getting lost in the corn!

After dinner in Logan, we still had some time to kill before we could pick Jenn up, so we decided to do some late night shopping at Wal-mart,(Logan needs a Target!) and then made our way back to Jennah’s Dad’s to pick up our little Halloweener. She had a great time trick-or-treating and to show for it, she promptly fell fast asleep in the back seat...a mere 20 minutes into the ride. We got her home safe and sound and put her snuggly into bed without the slightest peep. I took her back to her Dad's tonight and already missed her so badly on my way back...it hurt to breathe. I think it's because November is upon us and I know that our time with her in November will be slim. We will get through it though...December and Christmas will be here before we know it! We are excited! Ho-ho-ho…no humbugs here!

Totally Random Pics

2009-10-27T17:23:00.000-07:00

Just random pics with random captions...enjoy!

Me and Jenn horsing around with the camera - I love her smile in this pic...it's so genuine and pure Jennah.

Look at this (only) 5 month old puppy!! He's going to be a horse!

Doug's truck filled with dirt and sod...see the next pic for explanation...

Normally I wouldn't take a picture of the bed of a truck filled with dirt...but I'm kinda proud of this one because it was put there by yours truly. Not such a heroic feat, but I'm still proud. We took out all of the sod from the south side of our house to get ready for gravel. (we're putting in an RV pad for extra parking) We scheduled the gravel to be poured on Saturday the 17th, which was also the day our ward had it's Halloween party. (that I was in charge of!) Mom and Case were awesome helpers for Doug, but Jennah and I were literally in and out of the house all day so we weren't much help. I hate that. I hate not being able to help. So...after Doug gave some of the sod to our neighbors, I decided to get the leftovers cleaned up as a surprise for him. Holy cow...like I said...not a heroic feat, but man!! Did you know that grass was so heavy?! I didn't! We'd laid sod at our last house, so I thought it would be a piece of cake... This sod had been growing for 6 years and had at least 2 inches of clay/dirt attached to it. My arms and back are feeling it today! But I did it and Doug was happy! Yay!

Jenn after the trunk-or-treat...she'd been my little helper all day and we were exhausted! Can you tell she's a little tired? What a cutie!

A shot of our wards trunk-or-treat party wrapping up...we had an awesome turn out and had a great time!

Jenn and Charlie hanging out in the back of Tom's truck...Tom and Beth came to the party and brought candy for the trunk-or-treat. Charlie was dressed as Link from The Legend of Zelda and Jennah was a dead princess. We'd gotten her a princess costume, but she wanted to add some spookiness to it...so she decided to be a dead princess...we did some ghoulishly fantastic make up work on her and it looked great! Halloween is so fun!

More Trunk-or-treaters...so much planning and it's over in two hours...now onto the Christmas party! Yay Kathryn!!!

Cute Tom and Beth hanging out in their truck, waiting to hand out candy. So glad they came!

It's the corpse bride! Our lovely little princess, enjoying a bowl of Chili before heading out to become night of the living dead...eeeewwwww...creepy... ;)

Our neighborhood party goers chowing down on chili, soup and breadsticks...yummy!

This is what happens when you think your puppy is old enough and well trained enough to be left home alone...ugh...

It was raining hard that morning and as of then, we didn't have a dog house for Bogey. I decided that I could probably, just sort of, um...lock him up in the bathroom in our bedroom and he'd be ok for a few hours. I was obviously very wrong...he ate an entire role of toilet paper, chewed the toilet brush and it's holder to bits, dragged a pillow off the bed onto the floor, spilled the entire contents of his food and water bowl...and there you have it. We have since bought him a beautiful, snug, little dog house for those rainy days and learned our lesson that a (then) 4 month old dog, is definitely too young to be left alone...ugh (again)

Notice that Case is unusually absent from all of these pictures...it wasn't because we didn't take any of him...it's because he was at his girlfriends ward party...yep, I said girlfriend...my oh my...we love you squirt! ;)

Para Myo What?

2009-10-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

I have this thing...this genetic disorder...called Para Myotonia Congenita...say that three times fast! I inherited it from my Dad, who inherited it from his mom, my Grandma. With the exception of my brother Aaron, all of my brothers and sisters inherited it too. Now, my brother Tom has passed it onto his son Charlie. I passed it onto Jennahbean and Kellye's passed it onto Hayden. It's not really that big a deal but it can be if your not careful. i.e...we could not jump into a freezing cold lake without the very real threat of drowning. Our muscles would seize up in a New York minute and you'd be retrieving us from the bottom! It's not always a fun disorder...but man it's made for some funny stories! Sit in a room with my family when ice cream is being served...you'd seriously think you just walked into a speech therapy clinic. ;)

I don't get "the full on numbies" very often anymore...but the reason I bring it up is that last night I got hit with an episode... and since it's been SO long since I've had it and since I can't go back to sleep, I thought I'd share! When I was a little girl, I'd get hit with an episode and have to YELL for my mom to come and help me. I'd wake up and apart from my facial muscles, I'd literally be as good as paralyzed. Thankfully the actual paralysis... not being able to move AT ALL lasts for only a few hours...the muscle weakness can last an entire day and then the next day...it hurts like the dickens! Not like a constant pain, but the pain your muscles get after you've worked out really hard. Good o'l lactic acid! Woo Hoo! Since Doug and I've been married, I've only had two episodes where I really needed his help. I woke up at about 3:30am this morning to the beginning telltale signs that my muscles were about to go...stupid me thought I could trick it if I just got warm. I pulled the covers up and tried to go back to sleep! I woke up a few hours later to discover that my trick only half worked. It hadn't set in full on, but I knew I needed to get up. I pulled myself out of bed to get a bowl of cereal. Cereal is the cure! Not really...it's kind of like the medicine. Once you feel an episode coming on, you need to get something (preferably something with mass quantities of potassium) to eat! For whatever reason, the nutrients in the food slow down the process to the point that it can be managed. Otherwise, you're in for at least 4-6 hours of not being able to walk or lift your arms. FUN!!

This is an actual medical description of what I have...it's been likened to the human form of "fainting goats disease". Pull up fainting goats on youtube...it's hysterical. (you'll get an idea of how funny some of our stories can be!)

Myotonia congenita is a genetic, neuromuscular ion channelopathy that affects muscles used for movement (skeletal muscles). It is congenital, meaning that it is present from birth. It, amongst other problems, causes delayed relaxation of the muscles (myotonia and rigidity). The disorder is caused by mutations in a gene responsible for shutting off electrical excitation in the muscles, causing muscle fiber membranes to have an unusually exaggerated response to stimulation (hyperexcitability). Symptoms include muscle stiffness (myotonia), hypertrophy (enlargement), pain, and cramping. The disorder is caused by a genetic mutation involving the chloride channel of the muscles.

The muscle stiffness, which occurs most commonly in the leg muscles (more often in dominate mutations) as well as the eyelids and hands, is often enhanced by cold and inactivity, and in some forms is relieved by exercise...yum.

All the numbies in our family, with numb faces...looks pretty, does't it? Yikes! ;) (poor Charlie is mortified that we're taking his picture while he's numb!)

Things we all think about...or is it just me?

2009-10-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

1. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

5. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

6. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

7. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. ;)

8. Was learning cursive really necessary?

9. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

10. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

11. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

12. Bad decisions make good stories

13. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem

14. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you realize that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

15. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection...stupid blu-ray.

16. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

17. I don't enjoy the necessary evil of flossing teeth...it's actually pretty gross when you think about it.

18. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

19. Cake Wrecks is awesome and I'm pissed that I didn't think of it first.

20. Sometimes I'll look at the clock 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

21. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

22. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.

One of us is going to have to stop...

2009-10-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

On our way to Hyrum, Jennah and I were talking about life's wonders and pitfalls...I gave birth to a very deep thinker. On Sunday's, on our weekend with our kids, I usually remind them around 5:00 pm that they need to start getting ready to go, knowing that we'll be out the door and in the car in less than an hour. The response is almost always the same...dismal. I kiss their sweet faces, both revealing the same disheartened expression... Don't get me wrong, their other parents homes are not bad places. They love their other parents and they should. We certainly want and expect them to. I don't know exactly what it is or why it is...maybe it's the old adage that you always want what you can't have or don't have. Maybe it's that it's different and sometimes different is better, funner, or more interesting, or maybe it's just that at one point or another, they really truly don't want to leave. They want to stay with us.

Watching your child's eyes fill with tears at the mention of leaving your side is the worst feeling. Most parents say goodbye for a few hours...a few say good bye for a few days, and to be fair, some parents have to say goodbye for a lifetime. In that case, I'll take my goodbye of 11 days anytime, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean that I don't struggle mightily with it. Some might say that I got what I deserved, that things are how they should be. Some would say that I got screwed and that life isn't fair. I actually agree with both. Life is full of consequences, both good and bad. Which brings me back to the title of my post and my ride with Jenn on Sunday. We were on I-15, cruising along and talking about the holiday's and what our schedule was going to be like this year. Jenn sits behind me... I can see her eyes sparkle in the light of the setting sun. They grow wide at the mention of Christmas and Santa, but then darken when I tell her that we will only have her for ONE weekend in November. The Thanksgiving holiday is her dad's this year and it also happens to fall on my weekend...holidays supersede weekend visits. No one's fault...it just happened that way, but it still stinks. The car grows quiet for a second while I silently lament her impending absence. Just then, I happened to look up at a sign off the side of the freeway...it's a "quit tobacco" campaign ad that has a picture of a set of lungs on it. The caption overhead reads "One of us is going to have to stop". This statement settles heavily on me. My mind has been on so many things lately. I'm always thinking about the kids and Doug, I think a lot about our family, our home, the projects that we need to start, my new job, my mom and my brothers and sisters, our friends and neighbors, my responsibilities in our ward and our various goals. So much going on and so much to fight against. I worry about things. I kick against the current. For some reason I smile when I'm angry and I shout at Doug over stupid things. Things can get so mixed up in a persons head! But then there's that sign... ONE OF US IS GOING TO HAVE TO STOP. I think it could easily be taken so many ways. It could be taken a hundred different ways in my own life. Either I stop or you stop but eventually, one of us will have to stop. In some parts of my life, I am the one who needs to stop...in other parts, I will never be the one to stop. Never. I realize the power this statement holds. Someone at the "quit tobacco" company is really good at their job and I'm not even a smoker. I looked into the rear view mirror and smiled at my daughter. I tell her that yes indeed, life is hard sometimes and it's ok to be sad sometimes, but we live good lives. We have each other and we love each other. We may not get to spend all the time that we want with one another...but there will be time for that. I tell her about the joys of loving life and the joys of loving people like our Heavenly Father and Savior. That it's not just religion. It's an actual relationship...one that's like no other. "Life's not meant to be sad", I tell her. It is truly meant to be enjoyed. "We will have our chance", I promise her and I know with all my heart that it is a promise I will be able to keep. I look up to realize that I am preaching to the choir. She knows this and she believes this... Whew!!! I know that we're missing out on a great deal not living with Jenn and Case...you know, all of life's "little moments"... It's a horrible reality to wake up to...but when all is said and done, probably years from now...I'll remind her of our drive that day and of the billboard that stopped me dead in my tracks and we will both be reminded that life was/is/and will be good. I tell myself that if there is anyone out there who is waiting for us to give up being parents to them for any reason, they will be waiting forever...because one of us is going to have to stop and it isn't going to be us.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64...

2009-10-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

(Becky singing to Doug)
When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now...
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine. (WATER!!! but I kept it in there for rhyming purposes ;)

If i'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door...
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When i'm sixty-four.

(Doug singing to Becky)
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride,
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When i'm sixty-four.

(To each other)
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away...

Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore!
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When i'm sixty-four.

This song is eternally burned into my brain thanks to my dear old Dad, who loved The Beatles. I now have someone to sing it to...I love you sweetie. Thanks for being the man that you are.

Nie Nie = Kell Jell

2009-10-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Do you read Nie Nie?

If you don't...you should! The sweet author of this awe inspiring blog is Stephanie Nielson. I won't ruin it for you by giving you the details, but she is an extraordinary woman. (read about her!) I found her blog a little more than a year ago kind of by accident. I'd seen a news report about the blog "Dooce" and was curious...by the time I actually got around to looking it up days later, I couldn't remember the word "dooce"...so I typed, girl/utah/blog into the google search bar and got several options to choose from...Nie Nie's blog was one of them. I read a few from the list and finally got to Nie Nie...Something about her was so endearing to me! One of the first posts I read, was about the "back to school feast" she prepared for her family only days before her plane crash. During the months that she lay in a coma, her family began re-posting her blog. I loved to read it and realized that Stephanie reminded me a lot of my little sister Kellye. Everything from her kids nicknames to her creativity. Even her sense of style...those necklaces, her living room furniture, her clothing...Mr. Nielson even reminded me of Jordan and gigs looked like Hayden. Kellye certainly hasn't suffered such a traumatic event in her life as the one Stephanie and her family are experiencing, but shortly after I started reading Nie Nie, Kellye began having pain in her right ear. You know, you never think an ear ache could be something more serious, maybe an ear infection at the worst, right? After having the pain for a few days, Kellye woke up one morning and knew that something was wrong. The pain turned out to be shingles, a very painful condition that comes from the chicken pox virus. You know how chicken pox goes...you get sick, you get better and that's the end of that. Fortunately for most of the population that's true, but for some, the virus lays dormant inside your body for years, until stress or sickness brings it back in the form of shingles. It looks kind of like chicken pox but it doesn't itch, it hurts like the dickens. The worse part of Kellye's shingles is that it triggered Bells Palsy, an even worse condition that paralyzes (sometimes permanently) one side of your face. She couldn't move the right side of her face. She couldn't close her eye, she couldn't smile...nothing. This was heartbreaking to watch and I'm sure even more heartbreaking to personally experience. But true to Kellye fashion, she is a warrior. Through all the neurology tests and appointments, the sudden physical limitations of speaking, eating, smiling, etc... Not to mention that when she looked in the mirror, the reflection was drastically different from what it had ever been and knowing that there was a possibility it would never be the same again! Of course she had bad days. Of course there were hard moments, but she soldiered through them. Today, Kellye still has Bells Palsy but with treatment and time, she's regained a good portion of the movement she'd lost. She looks like her old self again. The thing is though, Kellye is always beautiful, Bells Palsy or not. The blessing isn't just that she's getting better, it's that she got it in the first place...trials get you closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior.

I'm proud of my kell jell... What an incredible woman she is!

And Nie, Nie? The resemblance she bore to my sister is what endeared me to her in the beginning. Now, getting to know even 1/4 of this new life she lives through her blog endears me to her today. I think she's uh-mazing... and on a side note...it makes me cry (happy cry) to read that her dad calls her "darlin". ;)

The 10 Commandments of Becky...

2009-10-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Thou Shalt not take this as blasphemous... ;)

In other words...please don't think I believe that what I say is more important than what anyone else says...especially God! I just saw this on a friends blog and thought I'd be a copy cat...Becky style. :)

Thou shalt keep thy kitchen sink clean...nothing grosses me out more than a dirty kitchen sink. Yuck!

Thou shalt not stand by and watch others discipline their children in an abusive, degrading, demeaning or cruel manner. I've actually gotten into verbal arguments with women who have "disciplined" their children in one or more of these fashions in public. It seriously hurts my heart to see it and I cannot tolerate it.

Thou shalt "be Becky". Just about everyone knows the contents of my past with it's occasional "piles of life garbage". I can't hide from it. I tried it once and it almost destroyed me. What you see is what you get...and aside from the heartache of not seeing my kids every single day...I'm extremely happy and that includes happy being myself!

Thou shalt wear lipstick. I think all women should wear lipstick at least one day a week. I can be wearing my sweats, have 16 zits, split ends, chubby cheeks and not an ounce of make up on...but add a little lipstick and the image I see in the mirror smiles back.

Thou shall not butt in line...ever. This is hands down my biggest pet peeve.

Thou shall not send back food...and I'm not just talking about sending it back at the fast food places. Have you ever been to the Cliff Lodge at Snowbird? Fancy ancy, isn't it? No under handed food dealings going on in a swanky joint like that, eh? Nope, not exactly. I've been in their kitchen and have seen with my own eyes what a chef/food worker will do to the steak you sent back. It's not good...not good at all.

Thou shalt let thy kids snuggle in thy bed on a Saturday morning before the day starts...when I think of Jenn, I think of her sweet little face and crazy bed head hair, rushing in to my room Saturday mornings...snuggling in beside me...telling me about her dreams the night before and planning the day ahead...blissful.

Thou shalt "let it go"...how long are you going to hang onto that big pile of life garbage? What are you getting from it? Stuff it and move on...

Thou shalt "be present in life"...procrastination sucks. Not showing up is lame. BE THERE!

Thou shalt watch "Life is Beautiful" at least once in your life. Great movie...great, great movie.

So, what are your personal rules to live by? ;)